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Beyond Bluey

Beyond Bluey

Navigating the traps of comparison in parenting with wisdom from Scripture.

Christian Life

Stephanie Delger

Podcast Host

Mom Guilt Podcast

Published On:

July 10, 2024

One day while scrolling on social media, I stumbled across a meme that said, “Never have I felt so seen as a parent as the first time I saw the backseat of the car in Bluey.” I had never seen the show before, but reading this made me eager to check out this new show - Bluey.

I went home with my kids, and we watched the first episode of Bluey. I instantly understood why everyone was talking about this show! The more I watched, the more I loved it.

However, after some time, I began to walk away frustrated rather than refreshed. “Why don’t I play with my kids as much as Bluey’s parents play with her?” “Does that make me a bad mom?” “Everyone talks about how messy the backseat of the Heelers’ car is, but that’s actually clean compared to mine!”

What started as innocent family TV time turned into a guilt session for me as a mom. I was no stranger to the comparison game we play as moms, but this was absurd. I was comparing myself to a fictional character!

I texted a friend asking her how she felt about the TV show. It turns out, I wasn’t the only one who was struggling with comparing myself to Chilli Heeler. My friend was struggling too! As moms, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. But how can we break the habit? How do we resist this temptation to compare ourselves to others?

Embrace Your Calling

God doesn’t make mistakes or accidents. This means that He chose you specifically to be the mother of your children. In His divine wisdom, He knew that it was best for you and your children to be placed together.

As moms, we need to embrace our calling. We shouldn’t compare ourselves to other moms, both real-life and imaginary. We need to faithfully follow what God has asked us to do rather than trying to copy our best friend. When we get to Heaven, we’ll be asked how we raised our children, not how our best friend raised hers.

In Deuteronomy 6:5-7, God tells us how we should live. God says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

As Christian moms, our primary calling is to love the Lord. The natural overflow of that love results in telling others about Him. As we grow closer to God, it will naturally overflow to us teaching and telling our children about Him.

The day-to-day ways moms live out this calling will look differently. That’s a beautiful thing. God has given each person and family different life experiences that uniquely equip them to share the gospel. Rather than lamenting that our life doesn’t look like someone else’s, we should celebrate that God has chosen to give each of us a unique way we can share the gospel.

Find Strength in God

After reading that we are each asked to live out the gospel differently, if you are like me, you may be left feeling more pressure rather than less. But God hasn’t asked us to do this on our own. We have been given the Holy Spirit.

Jesus, when telling His disciples that He would be returning to heaven, gave them comfort saying, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.” (John 16:13) We are not left alone. We have the Holy Spirit guiding us in how we should live.

Not only does the Bible tell us that the Holy Spirit guides us, but the Holy Spirit also intercedes for us. Romans 8:26 says, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”

On days when life is crazy and everything is spiraling out of control, this is incredibly comforting. We might not know exactly what we need, but the Holy Spirit does. As moms, we can cry out to God for help. When we do this, we can feel comforted knowing that the Holy Spirit is standing before the Lord, praying on our behalf and asking God to give us exactly what we need.

Keep Your Identity Rooted in Christ

Another way we can fight the temptation to compare is by embracing our identity. If you have placed your faith in Christ, when God looks at you, He doesn’t see our sins and failures. He sees Jesus.

Our identity is secure in Christ, and our value isn’t dependent on how well we parent. Jesus doesn’t love you more on good days, and He doesn’t regret saving you on your bad days. Your standing before the Lord is secure.

We can live unburdened from this guilt of feeling inadequate or feeling like a bad mom because that is not what defines us. We don’t have to tire ourselves out trying to keep up with the newest parenting trends on social media. We shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others and basing our worth on if we are a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ mom.

As Christian moms, we need to look to the Bible for how we should raise our children. We should strive to honor God with our lives and stop focusing on how others around us are parenting. As moms, we should strive to do what God has asked of us. This is how we live out the calling of being a faithful Christian mother.

We are not defined by what we think about ourselves or what the world tells us. We are defined by God and who He says we are. So the next time we are tempted to compare ourselves to another mom, remember that we are asked to faithfully raise the children God has given us. We can draw on the strength and guidance God has given us and rest assured that He will always love us and that our identity is secure in Jesus Christ.

If you would like further encouragement and help on how you can fight comparison in motherhood, please listen to this episode of the Mom Guilt Podcast - Bluey Guilt here:

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