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PODCAST That's a Good Question Mom Guilt, Power Struggles, and the Bible's Solution December 9, 2024 Jon Delger & Mitchell Leach Listen to this Episode Hey, welcome to That's a Good Question, the podcast where we answer questions about the Christian faith in plain language. We are a podcast of Resound Media, a place you can trust to find great resources for the Christian life and church leadership. You can also submit questions that we answer here on the show to resoundmedia.cc. If you find this resource helpful, please rate and review the podcast so more people can encounter the life-changing truth of God's word. Also, if you know somebody who could benefit from today's topic or from the questions that we're answering, do us a favor, share the episode with them. My name is Jon. I serve as a pastor and love to be part of this show here with Mitch. Yeah. And today we are here with special guests, the host of the Mom Guilt podcast, Stephanie and Elizabeth. Welcome, ladies. Hi, thanks for having us. Yeah, we're happy to be here. And they're complete strangers to us. We have no idea who you are either. Complete strangers, yep. No. For those of you who don't know, these are our wives. I'm married to Elizabeth and you're married to Stephanie. We get to be a part of this journey with them and their podcast together and we thought it'd be great to have them on. So here we are doing a podcast with our wives who have their own podcast, Dreams Coming True. Yeah, it should be a lot of fun. Yeah. It's gonna be cool. Yeah. So we're gonna talk about a range of topics, but we're gonna start with talking about some topics related to what you guys talk about. You guys wanna just share, what do you guys talk about on the Mom Guilt Podcast? Yeah, so we talk about mom guilt. So one of the things that we found is a lot of moms struggle with mom guilt, feeling like you're never doing the right thing or you're a good mom and you're constantly having this inner dialogue in your head throughout the day. And Elizabeth and I would call each other constantly. All the time. Or text and say, hey, I'm struggling with this. Can you help? And so we found, you know, we're not the only ones that struggle with this. So let's do a ministry. We prayed about it and felt that God was calling us to do it. And we realized a lot of women don't have someone to talk about it with. So you feel very alone. And so our prayer is that women would find a godly woman, mom, that can come alongside them and preach the gospel to them. But if they don't, we would love to be that. We'll be there in their ear until you find it. So seeing as how you have a podcast called Mom Guilt and we don't, I have an important question. Do you think women experience more guilt than men? Yes, I think it's different. Like I think it's probably guilt about different things. That's my gut. Yeah, I think if you break guilt down, it's a working definition, but probably feeling like you've done something wrong or you're not measuring up. So if you're using that type of a definition for guilt, then I'd say it's probably going to hit equally across the board because men and women both sin, I would say, probably about the same amount. But for moms, the mom guilt specifically, I think we just feel it maybe in different ways than you guys do as men. Yeah, like we feel guilty if we give our kids too much screen time or- Too much sugar, if you're late for the school drop-off line. Yeah, where guys might feel guilty if like they haven't mowed the lawn or something's falling apart on the house or maybe like they just feel like they're not being the best provider. So I think the guilt is there. But yeah, for with mom guilt, it's a little bit different. Not that dad guilt doesn't exist, but yeah. We're just not as willing to admit it. Probably. Well, I wonder if that's the thing is women just talk about it more. And so I think you think women feel the guilt more, but we just express it. And sometimes men don't talk about their feelings and keep that a little bit more hidden. Yeah, we're verbal processors. I mean, if I saw a podcast called Dad Guilt, I probably wouldn't listen because I wouldn't want to feel more guilty Is that not just a man thing to say I don't want to talk about it Well, you guys are more sanctified than us you're willing to talk about your guilt I like that that's good So we have a number of listener questions here that I think would be great for us to get to talk about So let's start with this one. So the question is basically this how do you do it all? How do you care for kids, keep the house, work, church, marriage, discipleship in the home? And somebody else also asked a related question, where is the balance between being selfish and taking care of yourself? Well, if you ever figure that out, let me know, because I would also like to do it all. I know, my first thought is you can't. You can't do it all. Yeah. So can you give the list again? What were some of the specifics? I don't want to just kind of breeze over it. I know it's a serious question caring for the kids keeping the house Work if you're somebody works outside of the home church marriage Discipleship in the home. That's some of the things that they listed. Okay discipline at home Really good things and I think I mean it's not bad to want to do all of those things. I know I can definitely relate to feeling really guilty or feeling bad, like my life is falling apart, everything is not going the way I wanted it to. I think a lot of times I would never say I have it all together, but I look at another woman and say she's got it all together. I want to be like her. Yeah. And the reality is we're not God. We can't do everything and be everything and, you know, be everything for everyone at all times, and we're going to fail. There are going to be times where we do well, and there's going to be times where, honestly, we drop the ball. And really, the whole point of our podcast is that our identity is not in what we do. So I would tell this listener, you can't do it all. God will help you. You're not alone. Ask for help. And when you can't do it all, remember that your identity is in Christ. That would be, you know, and just be gentle to yourself because as moms you want to. You want to do it all and you can't. We weren't designed to do it all. Yeah. I think one of the conversations we've had before is that everybody cheats somewhere. It might look like you do it all. I know, I think, Mitch, I think you and I have had that conversation of looking at, maybe looking up to guys that do a lot of writing and teaching. They're still pastors and they've got a bunch of kids and kind of say, well, he must cheat somewhere. Hopefully not on his spouse. Hopefully not. That'd be the worst one to choose. Is it that he never sleeps? Is it that he actually puts in very little time as a pastor, spends the rest of his time speaking and writing elsewhere? Where is it? There's only 24 hours in a day for all of us. So somewhere, something is getting cheated, even if it looks perfect. Maybe it's just a really fast type of... Maybe. Well, I will say that. I will say that there are guys that I look up to that I just want to admit that they have more horsepower than I do. They're smarter, they can do it faster. That's just how it is. And so that's sometimes true. But I'd say more often than not, it's probably that they're putting in less somewhere so they can put in more somewhere else. Yeah. What was the last part of that question? It was about self-care, right? Yeah. The balance. The balance between selfishness and taking care of yourself. Yeah. And I think you're right. Some people maybe don't take care of themselves, like even just basic things like sleep or eating or taking a lunch break or whatever it is. And that can lead to unhealth. But then- Yeah, that can lead to you end up, you know, 10 years down the road, just screaming down the sidewalk or something like that. Yeah, having a mental breakdown, or you're so burnt out, you can't go on. But there is this other side, and we've talked about this on the podcast, where culture kind of puts self-care as like the primary thing. And honestly, as a mom, it's almost like another thing that I'm failing at. It's like, oh man, I'm not doing all these things for myself. I don't have a hobby. I'm not getting time away from the kids. I don't, you know, and it's like, oh man, I'm failing at self-care. And so I, I think self-care can look different. Like it can be reading, it can be listening to music. It doesn't have to be getting away from your family, getting away from your kids. I don't know. What would you add to that? I think one of the things that can be really hard is outside to somebody else, they can look the same But one of them is genuine self-care and the other one is selfishness And I think for me trying to think through how do I discern which is which? You can ask yourself questions like how do I respond when I don't get? Whatever it is that you were trying to do what happens if I had a manicure appointment and it doesn't happen Because to me that exposes in my heart, like, was this like selfishness or was this self-care? Because I think sometimes it can be self-care to go and spend a little bit of time to get a manicure and that's fine. But for me, so often that selfishness is revealed if what happens when this doesn't happen or maybe even just asking the question of what do I have to sacrifice in order to make it happen? Yeah. Could be another really good question that you could ask yourself to determine between the two. Yeah. Cautioning our hearts against self-care, becoming an idol. Because sacrifice is not all bad. No. Right? I feel like that's the missing piece, what people talk about. Again, I want to, you know, we should all, you know, you should strive for getting a good amount of sleep, eating right, you know, like doing healthy exercise, taking care of yourself, spending time in the Word and in prayer. I'd say that's an important part of self-care. But also, I think often when people talk about self-care, they're missing out on that sometimes we have to sacrifice some things in order to do what God's called us to do. I think to me, parenthood is like one of the biggest, well, I feel like I shouldn't be saying this out loud, but it's a big sacrifice in a good way, but it's a big sacrifice. You know, you come home from work or whatever and it's like you want to just have a little bit of time or be able to relax, but no you gotta Buckle in and here we go. Yeah, I love these kids, and I've been called by God to take care of them and sometimes it hurts sometimes physically Sometimes like you know last night Each of the guy didn't tell you this, but each of the girls cats woke me up in the morning. So. Yeah, I say to couples who are going through premarital, like the hardest thing you can do is get married and have kids. Like if you want an easy life, don't do either of those things. But it's totally worth it. You know, it's life-changing in a great way. But it's art. Yeah. I think it's a great way that we can actually image God. And I mean, think about if Jesus would have had the self-care or selfishness mentality when he was approaching the cross, you know? Like, I think we can parent in a way that's sacrificial and we could actually, in a way, almost be like a Jesus figure to our kids. Not saying that we're like obviously going to save our children. We're not. You know, that's Jesus that's doing that. But it's a way that we can kind of give them things to think about as they're looking at Jesus and they see all the sacrifices that Jesus made, you know, it would be fantastic if one of our kids came to you or I and say, hey, I really saw you being like Jesus when I was a kid because you did these things. Yeah. Yeah. I really like the point you made that maybe an indicator of selfishness versus self-care is how you react when you don't get it. Yeah. Be grateful or entitled. Yeah. Yeah. It's something that you, you know, you want to do, you want to have, it's good for you, Yeah, yeah. It's something that you, you know, you want to do, you want to have, it's good for you, but maybe it's become an idol if your reaction is very, very poor when you have to sacrifice it for something else that God has called you to do. Well, and actually something you just said I think is really important, that it's good for you. Because I think sometimes we actually, like, in mom circles can talk about things that are actually maybe not what's best for you. but if you have too much wine and you become drunk, that's not self-care, that's actually sin. The Bible says being drunk is sin. That's maybe even a very surface-level filter of, is this selfishness or is this self-care? Is this sinful? Is this actually good for me? Yeah. Or the mom culture that you need wine to get through the day, just being a mom. Yeah, I think you're so right in that. Yeah. Yeah. So, and to circle back to, so, we talked about how do you do it all? So, I think largely our answer was most people don't actually do it all. A lot of us cheat in some way, shape, or form. But whether you do or don't do it all, like you guys said, it comes down to your identity. What are you finding your identity in? Yeah. Right? Is it what you do or is it that you are a child of God, saved by Jesus, by his blood, and that's where my identity is. It's not in getting it all done or appearing to get it all done. Yeah, exactly. So for us men on this side of the room, how can husbands, as we have wives that struggle with mom guilt, how can we help you all with that? How can we be supportive? We should just record all of our conversations at home because you guys do it so well. Yeah. We'll start a whole nother podcast. We get that? That's recorded? Yeah. Okay. Good. No, I think honestly, I think you guys actually have done a great job because I know for you, John, like when I am feeling really guilty about things, the first thing that you do isn't to tell me to try harder. It's not you need to do this thing because so often I come and I'm really frustrated. The last thing I actually want you to do in that moment, at least at the get go, is tell me how to fix it. I think one of the first things- It took me a long time to learn that. I was about to say that's my go-to. Is to try to understand why are you feeling this way? And then after you figure out why am I feeling this way, then I think there is the shift that I actually desire of, can you please, as an outsider, help me fix this, but first you have to sit and understand, let me tell you why I'm feeling this way or help me understand Why I'm feeling that way because often I think a lot of times you can't even articulate how you feel Yeah, and it feels like something that's trapped in me And like I almost I tell my husband I tell him the job that it almost like haunts me So if I can just get it out there and I can tell my husband about it Even if there's it's not rational or any we know that we both know that, but just somebody who can listen, you can pray with me. It's also, I mean, there's accountability, like should I feel guilty about this? Shouldn't I feel guilty? And often you'll be like, no, you shouldn't feel guilty. And sometimes you're like, yeah, you know, that was sinful. And so it's just not feeling alone. I think that mom guilt makes you feel so alone. Yeah, and that's been really helpful for me. Something that you've done is you'll preface things when you say things like that. You'll say, hey, this might not be rational, but this is how I'm feeling. So I don't have to be worried of like, oh, she actually really thinks this way. You're saying, I'm feeling these feelings and I know they might not be true, but I need to talk about them with somebody. And that's been really, I think a really helpful thing. And you're a good listener when? Sometimes. Yeah. After the kids go to bed. That preface is helpful. Honey, I don't need you to fix this, but I'd like to tell you about a problem that I have. Seriously, we kind of need that sometimes. That helps. I think his husband's asking that question, too. Are you looking for an answer or a solution to this, or do you want me to sit in this space with you? I think as a husband, it can be a really good thing. I think it also really strengthens your marriage because when you have something that you're thinking about, I mean often when John you and I are having conversation about this, sometimes the issue isn't really the issue. Like something that's manifesting itself on the surface is actually a much bigger thing that because we've been married for so many years you know that about me, you're actually able to speak truth to me at a much deeper level because you know where my struggles are with my identity or you know where my struggles are of where I'm struggling with sin in my life. And you as my husband is actually probably the most helpful person I can talk to about that because you know me better than really anybody else. Can I ask this question in the negative? What are things that husbands do that aren't loving to their wives as they're dealing with mom guilt? Hypotheticals only please. Like, what are some ways that would be just clearly not helpful as you guys are processing mom guilt? I think any time you minimize it, like if maybe you're a dad and you- Hypothetically, right? Yeah. Okay. Hypothetically. Yeah, not you. Every time you minimize it, no. Like maybe you're a dad and you don't wrestle with that same guilt, and it can sound silly. I mean, it really can. I think back and I'm like, oh my goodness, I felt guilty because, you know, my kid, another kid sneezed on my kid and I couldn't control it. Like it's not always rational. And so not minimizing and just saying, wow, you're crazy. That's ridiculous. Like move on with your life. I think having sympathy that, um, yeah, that it's a real deep feeling that we have an experience regularly. And so yeah, so just having compassion and even if it is ridiculous or you can't understand it, just trying to be there with your wife. I think sometimes to over-compartmentalize, I think in general, men's and women's brains work differently. And I think sometimes men can compartmentalize things where I personally struggle with that. I don't know if that's all women thing, but for me personally, I'll just say that for me. And so sometimes when you're like, well, just don't think about it. If I'm told that when I'm struggling with something, I'm like, well, that's not helpful because I can't do that. Like I could be, you know, making spaghetti for dinner and I'm thinking about this thing that happened yesterday or three days ago, like I can't compartmentalize. And so trying to force me to do that is something I can for sure grow in, but that sometimes can be really hard. All right, another listener question. As a wife submitting to my Christian husband, how can I encourage him to make submitting to him a joy when he might be missing the mark? Steph, I'm going to let you answer. You guys never experienced that clearly. Only bad answers here. I have to tread very carefully. It's Christmas coming up and I want a present. So, so your is the question essentially, how do I joyfully submit if I feel like my husband is not doing well? It says, how can I encourage him to make submitting to him a joy? So I think, I think she's, I think the writer is very kindly trying to say, how do I help my husband be better when he's missing the mark, but still submit to him. So when he's not leading, how do you encourage him to lead and you not take on that leadership role? Yeah. he's trying to lead. Yeah. I think the first thing would be to pray. Somebody gave me the advice years ago that if I see something that I want to bring to you, John, pray about it for you for 30 days before I see anything. And that's not something that is ever in the Bible. They just pick 30 days, it's about a month, and I'm not saying you always have to wait that long. But there are so many times when you probably don't even know because I never have to say anything because as I'm praying for you, the Holy Spirit actually works in your life and you either say something or it just gets resolved and it's like, Oh, that handled and worked itself out. So I think praying for your spouse when you see something like that would be your first step. Yeah. I'll share a story which has to do with all of us. So this is perfect. I don't even know how many years ago this was, like seven years ago. We were having dinner together and I have wrestled with submission. I think not growing up a believer, it has always been very hard for me. And I remember saying something to John while all of us were together. I said, I think we were talking about this very openly. And I was like, I think I said something along the lines of, but what if I don't trust my husband to make the right decision? And I just kept going back to that. And this had to do with something specific in our life with an investment, right? And you told me, you said, it's actually it's not about trusting your husband. It's about trusting God. And that stuck with me. It did. And because your husband is human. I mean, he is not always going to make the right decision. He's not always going to do the right thing. He's not always going to go about submission in the right way. But I trust God in his design. I trust God in who he's called me to marry. And so I think sometimes when I wrestle with that, I can tell my husband kindly, like maybe if my husband isn't being kind about submission, I don't know what this listener is exactly saying. I can say, hey, like, can you be more loving about that? This is hard. I can gently say, I'm unsure. I don't, this makes me nervous. Like, I think you can verbalize it, but still respect and honor and submit to your husband. And remember that ultimately you're submitting to God. I need that reminder a lot, especially because I want to often take control. Yeah. I'd also say to this woman, it's okay to like go back and look at the game tape. Like I think it's okay if there is a pattern of habitual poor decision-making in a relationship to be able to say, hey, like, let's go back on this last decision that didn't turn out well. Let's talk about what happened here. So that way we can make better decisions in the future. I think that's one way a wife can still submit and be a helper and also help shape things in the future to be, um, to be better. I think when wives can help their husbands make better decisions, that's not usurping their authority. That's, you know, being, being the helper to say, hey, I want to come alongside you and help see you make better decisions. And a wife's husband looks at their wives as, you know, someone who's there to help them and has wisdom and good input, which can take time and practice. And you have to be humble, too, as a husband to be able to receive that criticism. It's hard, but it's so important. And you have to be humble as a wife if it goes wrong to not say I told you. Yeah, those are. Yeah, that you know, you have to. It's all about humility on both ends. It's like we've handed you a loaded gun and you're just like. So I want to hear what you guys would say, though, because as the wife, you don't want to come across nagging. I think for me, I know one of the biggest turnoffs to not get what I actually want is to nag again and again about something. So, can I, like, let me into your brain space, like, what is a way that I could bring something up to you that wouldn't be a turn-off that would actually lead to a better conversation and you not feeling threatened? If I'm bringing up something about a failed leadership or something like that. Yeah, or the encouragement, right, that this question talks about. What kind of encouragement? What do you need to hear? Or how can I help you? That's a tough question. Let me help you. Yeah. I would say maybe do it topless. Oh my gosh. If you're going to fight, do it naked. It's harder to stay mad at each other. That's funny. Maybe after the kids are in bed. Yeah. I wonder if... I have two answers. First is if you're going to be the person to bring it, you know, starting with sweetie, I love you. I'm so thankful that you do try to lead our home well. This sounds like a compliment sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? I've always been, I think the funny thing about compliment sandwiches is that we always teach that they're bad, but we all do them anyways. And I think, I think maybe we all actually want them. I don't know. Yeah Okay, now you're gonna manipulate me to do something Well, I feel like yeah, yeah, I mean Maybe that's an advantage though. You see it coming at least you know, what's about to happen and so you can mentally prepare for it Maybe Mitch has better ideas on how our wives can bring it to us But the other thing I was gonna say is actually for men we really love a challenge, but we love it from another man, as hard as that is probably for a wife to conceptually can, you know, how can that work? But I think, so this is maybe, this is not a way that you can, you know, sometimes you do have to directly bring the issue to your husband. But another component alongside of that would be make sure your husband is plugged into a men's Bible study, a men's small group, places where iron sharpens iron, where he's going to get challenged by other men. So I think, yeah, again, you know, there are times when you're going to have to bring stuff to me directly, and I think that's always hard. It's just, those are, I can't think of times when those are fun conversations, right? That's just never fun. That's always going to be a tough way to do it. It still has to be done sometimes, but if you can try to help your husband have good men around him that will challenge him. We actually like to be challenged by other men. Yeah. But not your wife. Unfortunately, I think that's probably true. I don't think in general men like to be challenged. But now again, I'm not saying women shouldn't challenge their husbands. That does need to happen sometimes. But I say we don't get pumped about that. So is there some type of a practical thing that you could set before there's an issue or when there's not an issue that you want to talk about, could you somehow build into your marriage? There are certain times or every four months or set something aside where we're going to evaluate how we're doing in our marital roles, how we're engaging as parents. Because it seems like if you had something in place that that's already there, that is maybe less threatening than kind of out of the blue. Because I know I say that only because you and I have a friend that in their marriage, whenever there's something wrong, the wife asks for a date night. You and I talked about that. That's so hard because then you never view date nights as positive. It's just always, always, there's something wrong. She wants a date night. Yeah. I think that can be hard. I think, yeah, being proactive is a huge component of it, right? Having conversations. I think having conversations when they're small, when the issues are small, because sometimes I think the issues seem like they're small and then they fester and fester and fester and then they become this big thing and it's almost I think it can it can be a spot where you're almost unable to have a conversation that's even sweet or you're walking into it with a level head because it's just it's been something that's going on for months and it's something that really annoys you or really is you're seeing as a sign of unhealth. And then it's, you know, to a critical point rather than saying, hey, when you, you know. Leave the toilet seat out. That was funny. Yeah, yeah, I mean, the million little things that happen in the house, right? But, you know, or, you know, when you say it, say something to me this way, or when you come home and you're not engaged with our kids or me, you know, you know, whatever it is, right? That can be a huge thing. Yeah, don't save it all up for one big time we we unfortunately we have a history of for a number of years i think we made it through this last vacation we did it was the first year for a number of years we we most years we take a fall just two nights away we like to go to traverse city and enjoy just the fall and the colors and all that kind of stuff and for years in a row that was always Usually on the way home, in the car, trapped in the car for a couple hours. But this year we didn't. This year we did it two days before the vacation. But it's like, we would accidentally save up all this stuff that we've been frustrated with each other about, and then it would all of a sudden come out. Well, it's kind of interesting how couples are so different. Like, that's how you guys operate, where we more operate on like, tell each other everything when we think it. Like lack of impulse control and we talk about hard things like all the time, which sometimes can be damaging when it's not thought through. So just different dynamics. Yeah, I think regardless you have to learn how to fight well. One of the things that I like to say is you have to fight like you're on the same team. I like the analogy of, and this probably only works for men, but the analogy of like a basketball team, right? When two guys on a basketball team, on a good basketball team, when they're getting a rebound and they're on the same team, they'll say to each other, same team, so that way they don't wrestle for the ball. There's nothing more embarrassing than two players from the same team wrestling over the ball and either losing it or traveling or whatever, right? Happens in kids' sports. Kids' sports, right? It's very understated. Yes. And so sometimes when Elizabeth and I are fighting, we'll, I'll say, or she'll say, like, we're on the same team. And so it's just reorienting, like, we're fighting with each other right now for something to find resolution, rather than seeing each other as opponents saying, one of us has to win. When you see, like, you guys are on the same team trying to win together, you know, it's easier to find compromise or say, like, yeah, I might be wrong, but I don't have to lose. Like we're on the same team and we're winning. You can win-win. So I think that's part of it, seeing it that way. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think, man, encouraging him and seeing the things that your husband does right, that's a huge thing. Yeah, I think, you know, there's the old adage, like men rarely get complimented. Like, you know, you'll, most men, if you ask them, like someone said something nice about either the way they dressed, the way that they did their hair, the way that, you know, like whatever, and they haven't changed it since, because that's like probably one of the only compliments that they've heard about them. And so, you know, I'm not saying that men are, you know, it's awful for men. I'm just saying, you know, that's one of the, probably one of the hidden downsides of. Yeah, so like as a wife, just like you're quick to criticize, be quick to compliment, right? Like it's not just. Yeah, I would say if you're quicker to criticize than you are to compliment, that's important. I would say for me, and this is just a me thing. See, and you guys made fun of my compliment sandwich. Well, I was... This was kind of what we were saying, right? Compliment and complain. Well, I was going to say, I hate compliment sandwiches. Oh, okay, well. I think when you used to be my boss, one of the things I would say to you, you would start compliment sandwiching me, and I would be like, I want to hear it. It all comes out now. But you were also really good as a boss to be able to say things well, like saying when things were going well, and I knew that things were okay. And so sometimes my wife does the same thing. I'm like, please, I just wanna know what's going on. Don't keep me in suspense any longer. All right, so no compliment sandwich, but just even-handed of both charisma hands. If your husband likes compliment sandwiches, do that. But I'm someone who can't. I'm like, please, I know where you're going with this. There's something bad coming in the middle of this. Well, I think being aware that what you're saying is critical, maybe not in a bad way, critical a lot of times is negative, but I think you can be critical in a loving way. But to realize your words have weight and to be really careful. If you're going to say something that needs to be changed, do so with a loving heart. Yeah. And with not like a smile on your face, but just with a countenance that like, I love you and I care about you because I think there's a way that you can say something that you're like, oh, I don't really, you know, you're saying something different than what your body language is portraying. But you just said genuinely, if your husband knows I genuinely love you, I would hope that that would be heard in a different tone than if you were questioning if I loved you. Yeah. Yeah, I'll give you this. This is one more, but this is Mitchell's secret on Entering into any sort of conflict is just start asking questions One either you've misunderstood something or you don't understand the full picture of something that can be really important so asking a question if you fly in like you're gonna into a fight just Gung-ho and you don't understand the context that makes you look real stupid. But on the other hand, right, if someone has really done something wrong or has the wrong mindset and you ask them questions, you know, that's another way to get clarity. They can clearly state their wrong opinion or whatever wrong worldview or outlook they have. Then you can address it like, hey, these are your words, this is what you said, and this is exactly what I want to talk about. But asking questions is a humble way to approach it. Related to this, another listener question, they write, I was just reading Genesis 3 and verse 16 says, and this is a quote, to the woman he said, I will make your pains and childbearing very severe and painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. So here's the rest of the question then. If the Garden of Eden before the fall was God's perfect design, is the dynamic of husband being in charge or leading or ruling his wife actually not part of his perfect good design and instead it's actually part of woman's curse or punishment for sin? So questions about Genesis 3.16, specifically that part says her desire will be for her husband and he will rule over you. Okay, does that mean that this whole submission, authority structure thing is actually a result of the fall or was it there before the creation? That's the question. So I could be wrong, but this is how I view that part in Genesis is that submission and authority isn't sinful. I mean, we submit to God, it is good. But the fact that the wife now desires to basically have authority over her husband, like that is the curse, is that wives will want that. We will want to be the ones in charge, but our husbands will rule over us. Yeah, that desire isn't like she's got the hots for her husband. That desire is to rule over her. Yes, exactly. Same word used in Genesis 4, Cain and Abel. Yeah, exactly. And I'm not sure that I articulated that very well. But as far as authority and submission, it is good as part of God's good design for marriage. This is a spot where maybe we're adding a little bit more to Scripture than we need to, right? Like the clear point in this is saying that there is an authority structure that's given post fall, right? And the fall is that that design will now be broken. Correct, right. So so to say that like, well this isn't how it was in pre-fall. Well, the Bible never says that. It says that this is the plan for marriage. And if we believe that God is immutable or he does not change, right, why would he say, well, here's one plan and like, oh, you ruined it. I didn't see that coming. Well, here's a different plan. Also, isn't that why Adam, we said, you know, Adam had the first sin. He did not lead his life well in the garden. He did not. He was there. Yeah, I understand that is, people disagree on that. But right, like can't you say, I mean that scripture says, you know. Yeah. Well, who's credited, you know, like who's later on in scripture, right? It talks about Adam being the one who saved her, so. Yeah, okay. Stephanie, challenge me or tell me your thoughts, because this is hard. It is really hard. I think I actually wrote an article on Resound. So if you are wanting to look at this, it's just a really, a really quick one. But it's called Divine Discipline or Unfair Treatment. Because I think so often as women, we could look at that verse and say, well, that's not fair that God punished her in that way. But basically, one of the things that I've thought through with specifically the marital design is that we see that God's design is good, right? There's a verse in the New Testament, help me with where it's found, but it talks about Adam, it talks about the husband being in the authoritative role based on he was created first. Yeah, 1st Symphony chapter 2. So we see authoritatively Adam already is the head of the household before Eve is getting this curse, getting this consequence of her actions. And so we know that it's not because of her sin that now Adam is in charge. It was God's design for Adam to be the head of the household before that happened. And so I think that's unfair to say that that's part of the fall is that he's in control. I think we can clearly see that that is part of God's design and then that design is now broken because of like what you guys were saying with that desire. It's an unhealthy desire. Like what you were talking about in the next verse, that same word for desire there is, sin is crouching at the door, it has desire over you. So this is an unhealthy desire that is now going to come from Eve towards her husband. It's not like this conflict of who's in charge. Right, the result of the fall is not the authority and submission structure. Actually, the result of the fall is that Eve's not gonna like it. Yeah, men and women are going to try to upend God's authority and submission structure. I also think we have to read this with the understanding that this can't mean something to us that it didn't mean to its original audience, right? So if you look at Jewish culture, like birth order or like, you know, quote unquote birth order, like that mattered. And so, you know, Adam being created first, like there was already a natural authority that he had. So no one who would have read this for the first time would have thought, oh yeah, maybe they were like equals and that this was like some sort of like, you know, symbiotic, perfect relationship where no one really had authority. They would have read this going, oh, the one who was born first or the one who was created first, that's the person who would have the natural authority. Like nobody's reading this thinking, well is this a case for egalitarianism or where men and women. Can you say what egalitarianism is, just in case somebody's not familiar. Where men and women are mutually submitting to each other that there is no true headship or leadership within a marriage. Yeah, so this is a great question. This is something we do have some blogs about at resominated.cc, feel free to check those out. We'll link those in the show notes. Like Mitch mentioned, the Order of the Creation, the Order of the Fall are both instances that we see in Genesis 1 and 2 and then 3. That point to God's design for the hierarchical structure between between husband and wife, men and women, and then also in Genesis chapter 3 another thing is, you know, when God comes looking for who's responsible for the sin, He doesn't call for Eve, He calls for Adam. He asks for Adam to give an account for his family. He knows that Adam is responsible for what happened. And then in the New Testament, Romans chapter 5, yeah, it's Adam who's credited with the fall of all humankind into sin. Yeah, so I mean if you're gonna make a shot and take a shot at the Bible for being misogynistic, you have to have, you can't be heavy-handed, right? It's not that, well, you know, you know, Adam meant something more to God than Eve did. And then forget that, well, Adam also got the brute of the punishment, you know? Like, I think we sometimes as a culture impose something on scripture and we say, well, look at it's being sexist. Like, no, like, you know, part of this, this design is that men are supposed to be the leaders. And at the same time, they're the ones culpable. Yeah, one of the ways that we summarize the Bible's teaching on this topic is that we say God has made men and women equal in value and yet distinct in role. I think when you see God's good design for the beautiful thing that it is, it just makes me excited to want to live it out. If you're kind of questioning, is this really what's best for me? You're not going to want to submit to your husband, but if you can see in the Bible that this is God's beautiful design, well, yeah, sign me up for that. I want that marriage. Right. It is really important to understand this. Yeah, it's not a result of sin, of the fall, that things are this way. This was God's good design. And thus, it's how it should be for believers, people who are in Christ, who are sort of reversing, God is reversing the curse amongst his people. Yeah. Yeah. The funny thing is we would never have this conversation about like headship and like children. You know, when it comes to children, like no one's saying, well, like, oh, we should all make, everyone should make the decisions equally within a household, like parents and children. Like, oh, there's like a good order. Anyone who's been a parent for a minute understands that like, that would be terrible. Like a three-year-old, I think, asked me recently if she could run with knives. Like, no, like that's a terrible idea. And like, there is a good order that God's made things. Um, and sometimes, I don't know. I think again, we're just imposing kind of a cultural bias onto scripture and that's unfair, that's unfair to scripture and how we live it out. Awesome. Well, ladies, thank you so much for the conversation. Yeah. Thanks for having us. Yeah, we appreciate it. It was fun. We'll see you at home. Thanks for listening, everybody. It's been great to have a great conversation about these questions. You can always follow, like, subscribe, YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, resoundmedia.cc.

Do You Put the Same Value on Unity that Jesus Does? Christian Life Shannon Popkin Author & Podcast Host Live Like It's True Podcast Published On: January 19, 2024 Meg and I had been friends for several years and enjoyed a sweet relationship. She was part of a group I helped lead at our church. One day, Meg called to tell me that she disagreed with a decision that had been made for our group. In fact, she was hurt and offended that we would even consider a decision like this. Well, this surprised me. It was a small decision, involving a slight change. We had not anticipated that anyone would be hurt or offended. I shared with Meg the thought process behind the decision, but as often is the case, some of the data points were private and I couldn’t mention them. Meg was not satisfied with the reasons I gave, probably due in part to the gaping holes in my explanation. She again told me that she was hurt and offended—this time with more edge in her voice. Well, this made me angry and frustrated! Sharing the goodwill behind the small decision had made no difference. Things escalated quickly. I unwisely told Meg that I was hurt and offended over the fact that she was hurt and offended! Didn’t she trust us? Didn’t she know that we loved her and were trying to do what was best? When I raised these questions, Meg raised questions of her own. What did I have to be hurt and offended about? She had done nothing wrong. She was in a position of being hurt and offended, not me. Oh, what a circular, tangled mess it quickly became, sparked by a small, insignificant decision made for our group. After several rounds of, “But I’m hurt and offended!” I excused myself from the call. Nothing was being resolved. It was clear that I needed to do something differently, but what? Promoting Unity at Church Conflict is like a spidery crack through the unity of the Church. Left unchecked, conflicts can fracture relationships that took years to build, and they can split close-knit groups of Christians into “sides.” Sometimes the division can even outlive the disagreement. The “sides” still exist, but no one can remember how the dispute began. I’m sure men have their ways of holding onto conflict, but women in particular, hold onto things. We tend to take disagreements personally—especially at church. When someone tells us that the way we’re trying to serve Jesus is wrong or that our viewpoint is invalid, we can be easily provoked. Emotions boil over and divisions form. Tempers flare and gaps widen. Hurt feelings abound and resentment grows. As conflict spreads, we feel threatened and confused, wondering, Why is everyone against me? I was only trying to serve the Lord! That’s how I felt about my conflict with Meg. She was overreacting to something so small! But now I was overreacting. I spent hours thinking about and crying over the issue. I dreaded having to see Meg on Sunday at church. I didn’t know how I would even make eye contact. What a far cry from God’s blueprint for His Church. Read Ephesians 4:4–6 , and count how many times you see the word “one”: There is one body and one Spirit . . . one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. The Church is not supposed to be filled with women who avoid eye contact in the atrium after the worship service. So how can we as women in leadership help cultivate unity when the women around us (and including us) are so prone to conflict? Humility’s Effect Jesus’ life was spent drawing people from conflict into unity—both with God and each other. And how did Jesus accomplish this? If I had to choose a one-word description of Jesus’ birth, life, and death, it would be humility. The exalted One emptied His regality and veiled His glory. Rather than coming to earth demanding we serve Him, our King served us and sacrificially laid His life down. And what was the purpose in this? Jesus died in our place so that we could be reconciled to God. We, who were far off and hostile toward God, were brought near and given access to the Father! And we weren’t just welcomed as individual daughters; we became members of the household of God—part of a family with brothers and sisters ( Eph. 2:13 – 19 )! As members of this family, our work is to continue Jesus’ work. We are to build each other up in love and cultivate unity among each other. And like Jesus, we accomplish this through humility. Pride in Conflict Conflict naturally draws out our pride , not humility. In conflict, we’re compelled to show how wrong the other person is. We pick up a millimeter stick (appropriate for measuring specks) to count up the 762 flaws that we see in the other person. And then we pick up a yardstick (appropriate for measuring logs) to minimize our own speck-sized flaws. But Jesus said: “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” ( Matt. 7:5 ). It’s pretty humbling to learn that a log, which you were unaware of, is sticking out of your eye. It’s even more humbling to be told about the log by the person you were just offering your eye surgery services to. Conflict forms when two people say, “No, you’re the one who isn’t seeing clearly!” But unity forms when one of them says, “You might be right.” Women who want to cultivate unity are the ones who lay down the millimeter stick. They stop taking inventory of their sister’s flaws. And if their sister is the one picking up the millimeter stick, they choose to listen rather than becoming defensive. Either way, massive quantities of humility are required if unity is ever to be restored. Putting to Death When I called Meg back, I was committed to not defending myself—not even once. I wanted to be humble and listen to her concerns with an open heart. This was not easy. Meg was even more hurt after our first conversation and even more critical of me than before. Her words flowed freely as she listed out my flaws in detail. As she talked, how I longed to cut in and defend myself. She was listing out the very things I saw in her! I ached to repeat how hurt and offended I was and to offer my own list of criticisms. But I didn’t. Instead, I took careful notes, thanked Meg for her input, and promised to prayerfully consider what she had said. I hung up and groaned privately to the Lord, saying, “Surely this is what you meant by ‘putting to death the flesh!’” It was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had. But you know what? There was some truth in what Meg said. I didn’t see it right away, but as my emotions subsided in the days following, God used Meg’s input to show me some things that I needed to work on. Now, I didn’t put more emphasis on Meg’s perspective than God’s. I reminded myself that I am loved and accepted by Him and that His grace is bountiful enough to cover each of my flaws. But I did pray carefully through Meg’s complaints. I repeatedly refused to focus on her flaws and instead focused on my areas for growth. In the end, I apologized to our group about some of the concerns Meg had raised and helped revise our earlier decision. Conflict was averted, unity was restored, and all was well. A Worthy Calling Now, that is just one example. I could tell of ten other conflict situations in which I tried to humble myself yet unity wasn’t restored, groups still split, and relationships were never the same. Unity is not something we have ultimate control over — leader or not. We can only do our small part, with the influence that God has allotted. But even as a small member of the Body of Christ, it’s good for me to remind myself of my calling. Ephesians 4:1–3 says: Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. I once was far off and alienated from God. I had no hope and was without God in the world ( Eph. 2:12 ). But by the blood of Jesus I have been brought near and included into the family of God! My attitude toward maintaining unity within this family is a reflection of how I feel about being called inside. How Much Is Unity Worth? Unity is costly. You might even have to take dictation on your list of flaws. In my instance, Meg never came to see things my way. She never apologized. And I never got the satisfaction of defending myself. But maintaining unity with Meg, and ultimately our group, was worth it. Maintaining unity in your church or ministry is worth it, too—even if it’s costly. Jesus, our preciousSavior, died to bring us into this family. He said that our unity with God and each other was worthy of His death. If you’re a leader, your role is to go first. You can’t lead others to have extravagant humility unless you first display extravagant humility. This is what Jesus did for us! So how much are we willing to spend on unity? Will we put to death the desire to be honored, to defend ourselves, and to have our own way? Do we value unity the same way Jesus does? Consider a conflict you’re facing as you pray these verses to the Lord: Lord, I choose to do nothing from rivalry with ______________ or conceit toward ___________. In humility I’m counting _______________’s needs, perspectives, and desires more significant than my own. Lord, I choose not to look out only for my own interest regarding __________________. I will also look out for the interests of _____________________. I want for my _______________ (group/church) to have the mindset among ourselves which Jesus had. May we be people who make ourselves nothing, who humble ourselves, and who become obedient—like Jesus who even died on a cross. (From Philippians 2:3–8 ) More Blogs You'll Like Is Prioritizing Love Un-Christian? What Does The Bible Say? Read More More Than Meets the Eye Discovering God’s Purposes for Motherhood Read More Mom Guilt and How to Fight It Read More

What kind of counseling should you expect from your pastor? Christian Life Jon Delger Multiplication Pastor Peace Church Published On: November 21, 2023 You’re looking for counseling. You want a Christian perspective. Who better to ask than your pastor? However, you know that your pastor has a lot of other things on his plate. He doesn’t just do counseling, he also preaches, teaches, and leads your church. Wait… does he do counseling? Does he charge for counseling? I really need some help. What should I expect from him? I can’t speak for all pastors, but let me try to speak for “the average pastor” on this one. Let me share my standard response when asked for pastoral counseling from someone in my church and suggest some next steps you can take if you are interested in pastoral or Christian counseling. “Pastor, I am struggling, I think I need counseling, can you help?” Each time I hear these words, I have two reactions. First, my heart breaks. I want to respond: “I am all yours, I will do whatever it takes, and I will be with you every step of the way.” I want to solve all their problems and heal all their pain. However, by God’s grace, a second reaction then strikes me. A voice inside my head reminds me: “I am neither Jesus nor Superman, I don’t have all the answers, and I can’t do it all.” Over time, I have come to a few realizations about pastoral counseling: 1) I do a disservice to people by promising too much. Have you ever been promised a lot by someone (doctor, financial adviser, mom, dad, spouse) only to have them not deliver? Would it have been more or less painful for them to tell you realistically what they could do for you, even if it wasn’t all you hoped for? This leads to my next two realizations. 2) I keep people from receiving stronger support when I promise too much. When someone promises to deliver exactly what you need, what do you do? You stop searching for further help. Most pastors are not trained counselors. Sure, we took a couple of counseling classes in seminary, but that is a far cry from being a trained professional. Some pastors may be uniquely gifted, have special training, and feel equipped to provide more than average. However, in many cases, the average pastor is best suited to do triage, not provide full treatment. 3) Giving people realistic expectations from the start is important. When I overpromise or am unclear about what people can expect from me, it leads to broken promises, hurt feelings, strained relationships, and often prevents someone from getting the help they really need. As a rule, I offer people a realistic sense of what they can expect from me, right from the beginning. When asked for pastoral counseling, I let people know that I can offer three things to them: 1) I can listen. Sometimes the best medicine is someone to listen to our story, ask good questions, and let us work our way through the issue. This may sound small, but it is a valuable resource. 2) I can pray. I cannot solve their problems, but God has the power, wisdom, and goodness to do whatever is needed in the situation. I am always happy to pray with people in person or over the phone. 3) I can share Scripture. I still try to be careful here. I am not promising to show you the answers to your problems in the Bible. Scripture doesn’t work that way. God’s Word offers us principles to think through our situation as well as encouragement and hope. I offer 1-3 meetings of one hour. During these meetings, I seek to do the three things listed above, assess their needs, and direct them to further help as needed. Sometimes this means referring them to a professional counselor. Sometimes I direct them to a support group, mentor, or Christian brother/sister to walk with them through their situation. Professional counseling is a great resource and no one should be ashamed to take advantage of it. However, the church should also be a community of people who can help each other (not just the pastor or the professionals). In recent years, some of the best biblical counselors around have created [great resources]( http://ccef.org ) to equip Christians to help each other. “Pastor, I am struggling, I think I need counseling, can you help?” Here is my standard response: I am so sorry to hear that. I would love to hear more about your situation and see how I can help. Because I care about you and want to make sure you receive the help you need, let me share up-front what I can offer as a pastor. I am not a trained counselor. As a pastor, there are three things I can offer you: I can listen, I can pray, and I can share Scripture. I typically meet with people from one to three times to do those three things. During that time I also try to help you arrange further support as needed, whether that is a professional counselor, a small group, or a Christian friend who can walk with you through this time. I would be happy to get together so I can listen to your story, pray with you, and share Scripture. Can I connect you with my assistant to schedule a time to meet? You’re looking for pastoral or Christian counseling, what are your next steps? 1) Ask your pastor what he offers. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help, but give your pastor the chance to be clear about what he has to offer. Consider sending him a link to this article and give him permission to be clear about what you can expect from him. 2) Ask your pastor for a referral. If you know already that you want ongoing counseling, ask your pastor for help finding a counselor. Not all “Christian counseling” is equal, unfortunately. Ask for help finding a Bible-saturated, gospel-centered, Christ-focused counselor who will share God’s Word with you, rely on the Holy Spirit, and use the best of what psychology has to offer. A word to church members and leaders looking on… If your pastor does not offer all the counseling you think he should, it is not because he is heartless, impersonal, or lazy. If he knows how to say “no” to some requests, it is because he knows his strengths and weaknesses and is seeking to help people in the most effective way possible. This is wisdom. Praise God that he has given it to your pastor. More Blogs You'll Like Is Prioritizing Love Un-Christian? What Does The Bible Say? Read More More Than Meets the Eye Discovering God’s Purposes for Motherhood Read More Mom Guilt and How to Fight It Read More

PODCAST That's a Good Question Embracing the Mission: A Conversation with Jim Essian November 11, 2024 Jon Delger & Mitchell Leach Listen to this Episode On this episode of That's a Good Question, Jon and I interview Jim Essian, the founder of a church planning network in the Dallas-Fort Worth area in Texas. The goal of our conversation is that Christians would grow in their faith and their hearts would grow in desire to see the gospel advance in their communities. Without further ado, let's jump into this week's episode. Hey everyone, welcome to That's a Good Question, a podcast of Peace Church and Resound Media. You can find more great content for the Christian life and church leaders at resoundmedia.cc. That's a Good Question is a place where we answer questions about the Christian faith in plain language. I'm Jon. I serve as a pastor as well as a part of this show. You can always submit questions at peacechurch.cc/questions . Today I'm here with Mitch, as always, as well as special guest, Jim Essian. Yeah. A few little things about Jim that might be interesting for you as a listener. Jim played many years in the minor leagues and left baseball and felt the call to become a church planter, planted Paradox Church in 2011 in Fort Worth, Texas, where he continues to serve as lead pastor. Jim founded the church planning network, Plant Fort Worth, which has planted 15 churches in the last six years. Also, he's an author of many different books including his last, Send, loving your church by praying, giving, and going. Jim, if you would, I just want to say a special thank you for hopping on and a welcome. If you would, tell us a little bit more about yourself outside of baseball and church planting. What do you occupy your time with now. Yeah, thanks for having me, guys. Absolutely. Married to my wife, Heather, now for almost 21 years. And we've got three girls. Love their ages, 14, 12, and 9. We're just having a blast with marriage and family. And obviously, ministry is a big part of what we do. And our kids and my wife is involved. And so I love where we're at right now. I love loving life. So things are well. Jim, before we get going, you mind tell us a little bit about what made the transition for you from life in baseball to life as a pastor and a church planter? Well, I mean, baseball decides for you, typically. I mean, there's a few guys out there in the world that get to decide what they want to do. But typically, you know, in professional sports, you're done when they say you're done. You know, I could have kept playing and chasing a dream, but after eight years in the minor leagues and I've been married for a couple of years, it was time. And, you know, I'm not going to over-spiritualize it. It wasn't because I was going to move immediately into pastoral ministry. That was not exactly what I had in mind. So that was just the Lord dragging me out of something that I had known really my whole life. You know, my dad was a professional baseball, still is in fact, six decades. And so that was all I knew baseball, but the Lord had something better. And so he dragged me out and here I am. That's awesome. That's how he does it all the time, right? Drags us, kicking and screaming. Oh man, yeah, yeah. He's got a calling for us. Well, on that note, are all believers called to be on mission? This is something you talk a lot about in your book. I'd love to just hear your thoughts about this. Are all believers called to be on mission? And if so, why is it important that all believers consider themselves sent on mission by Jesus? Yeah, I mean, I love the process of writing the book to sort of organize some of those thoughts. You know, we have, as pastors, we have theological categories and then hopefully we're good at taking those theological precepts or ideas or categories and placing them in the hands of our people in a way in which they can actually do something with. And so, the first two chapters of the book are all about God's vision for the world. Why is there a world? Why is there a universe that exists at all? What is God doing? And then the second chapter is God's vision for us. And the big idea there is just that those two things are pretty inextricably linked. That God's vision for the world is to cover the world with the knowledge of His glory. And we are, in part, I mean, we are image bearers of his glory, and then we're called to be witnesses to his glory. And so, yeah, I mean, whether we know it or not, or whether we are intentionally doing it or not, if you are a follower of Jesus, you are on that mission, the mission to make much of Jesus and his glory known. It's really just a matter of how much, how how intentional do we want to live on that mission? And do we know? And I've just found, this is real general, not just specific to the mission of God or the book itself. I found that, specifically in the American church, if we have a problem with the American church, pastors should stop blaming the people and we should start taking responsibility for ourselves as leaders. It is our job to teach them. It is our job to set an example. It is our job to tell them. And in part, the book is written as a way to help pastors help their people see the mission that God has called them to. Yeah, amen, totally. What are some symptoms or what are some side effects of Christians not knowing that mission and trying to live out the Christian life? What are some things that you've seen as a lead pastor in that? Yeah, I mean, we're gonna, I said this yesterday in a sermon, and I'm sure you guys have quoted it as well, D.A. Carson, just talking about how we don't drift towards holiness. We don't drift towards God's mission. We don't drift towards feeling near to God. We don't drift towards a healthy marriage. We don't drift, it's just not the way that that works. We are fundamentally still broken, sinful, learning how to live out our new nature in Christ. And so, yeah, I mean, if we're not moving in that direction, we'll be moving towards something. We were made to be...we were made to be glorious. We were made to desire beauty. We were made to have purpose and meaning. And we're going to find the counterfeit of that if we don't...if we're not on the road to the way God has designed that for us. So, you're going to find yourself chasing after God's stuff and not God. And of course, that's just where we end up wrestling, struggling, and in the places where all of us can find ourselves in. Right. It's like the second law of thermodynamics for spirituality, right? Everything tends towards decay. That's true in the spiritual world, too. If you sit still, you're drifting in the wrong direction. You don't actually stand still. Totally. And there's also just, I mean, there's also a great joy to it. I think we can have a tendency to do, you know, we ought to, and we do, we ought to be doing certain things and a part of certain things, but there's also the promises that there's great joy in all of that. Yeah. You know, Jesus doesn't say, you know, in his parable, you know, hey, good job following the rules. Now, you know, now go to heaven. He says, you know, well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your master. A man finds a treasure buried in the field, in his joy goes and sells all that he has that he might buy the field. So there's also, the promise is there's great joy in all of that as well. Yeah, totally. Jim, I loved the way that you opened your book. If you don't mind, I'm going to read actually just the first two paragraphs here quick for everybody just because I loved the way that this started. This is the beginning of Jim's latest book. He says, you are in the midst of a global movement, a movement that is advancing in every culture and place across the millennia, a spirit-filled, gospel-armed people who will not stop or even slow down until we break through the gates of hell and welcome our King and His Kingdom. We will not lose because He has already won." Amen. I love that. I was hooked right away in the first couple of sentences there. So speaking of that, Jim, do you mind just talking a little bit about how is our theology of Jesus' victory through the cross and the resurrection. How does that affect how we think about the church, and especially church planting? Yeah, I mean, I was joking about it with my team this morning in regards to something else. But it was kind of, if you watched the Lions game last night, it's kind of like that. It's like, man, things are not going well, but it just feels inevitable. We just knew somehow they were going to pull it off. And the Christian life is much like that. Here's a free sermon illustration for you guys for next Sunday. Yeah. The Christian life is so much like that. I mean, there are seasons, there are quarters, there are moments, there's time. There's this particular drive where man, it doesn't feel like we know what we're doing. And five picks in one game, I need to stop this analogy, I'm sorry. But you know, there's just, we know, we know that things are going to be hard and there's going to be times where it doesn't feel like it's going well, but to know that we have already won just pulls, like all of the weight gets pulled out from that moment. I mean, it just keeps everything in perspective. And so I do think people in the Reformed camp can have a tendency to not focus on the victory that we have. And instead we're focusing on the depravity of man or something else. Whereas we can learn from the black church or even some of the charismatic churches that we are meant to live from victory first. The battle has been won. And so we know how this thing ends. And Revelation was written to encourage us. We know how this thing is gonna go down. And so that should just give us a lot of confidence when we think about the mission of God, the multiplication of His church, our part in that, our role in that, our money, our prayers. I mean, we're the ones that believe that it's God who saved, so why wouldn't we be the most bold in our proclamation of the gospel? I mean, all of those things should give us a lot of confidence. Yeah, amen. Man, I gotta tell you, this is like, I feel like the tides have turned here. It used to be that all of our analogies about the lion were very negative. That was the most optimistic analogy I've heard. Yes, it brings a choice, that's right. A different season in Michigan. Well, you know, usually I also say that you can only insult the Lions if you're from Michigan. But Jim, you're from Detroit, so it's OK. We'll go with it. I grew up watching Barry Sanders on the 50-yard line, man. Yeah, that's awesome. There you go. That's awesome. Well, hey, so to pivot to talking a little bit more specifically about church planning. So let's tackle this from a couple of different angles. If somebody listening is in a church that is healthy, that is growing, and that is maybe thinking about church planting in the near future, what are some things that they could do to help foster that culture that leads to church planting? Maybe they're a pastor, maybe they're an elder, maybe they're just a faithful member volunteer serving. How can they contribute to the sort of culture that leads to multiplication, planting more churches? Yeah, I mean, a couple of things. One, I think you have to start with vision, which is why that's how I started the book. I mean, I think for anything when it comes to church, when it comes to the mission of God, when it comes to the glory of God, we start with vision. You know, we tell our team this, like we don't want to recruit to need. We want to recruit to vision. And, you know, I need you might get somebody to show up next Sunday or next Saturday or, you know, whatever, but when they are captured by a vision of God, the glory of God, and the mission of God, you have them for life, not just a Sunday. And so I would just always start with vision. You know, that's going to sustain us. That's going to be the thing that endures us in ministry, whether that's vocation ministry, vocational ministry, or not. You know, I've got people in my church, we're about 14 years old now as a church plant, and I've got a couple of dozen people that have been around about 14 years, ministering, leading, serving, and they're not here because I'm some sort of great leader or because, you know, standing in the midst of the churches, ruling and reigning, and they're captured by that vision. So one, you've got to have a vision. It should be the vision that God has. Don't come up with your own. And then two, I think they need to know that this is, like, anyone can get in on this. One of the reasons I, you know, everything I've just told people about this book, like what is the book about, what is the book about, the book is about I am a ex-jock preacher with no seminary degree, no college degree, and I've been able to be on the front lines of Jesus's mission, watching Jesus flex in church planting here in Fort Worth, throughout the country and throughout the world. I've seen churches planted in Brazil. I've seen the darkness pushed back in my city. I've been able to be at the front lines of God's mission, and if I can, then anyone can. And so anyone in our churches can be a part of this, and they can get in on it. And I just think that's amazing, that if you paint this big, beautiful vision of the glory of God and the mission of God and the victory of God, and then you say you can be a part of that, no matter who you are or what you can get in on this, that's a great start. And then from there, I think it would just be championing multiplication. You can't, I mean, there's, I won't remember it, but there's a quote in the book from Tim Keller, because you have to quote Tim Keller if you're going to be able to take it. He says some of the effect of like, if you don't have a multiplication culture and you just go plant a church, it's going to be like, that's almost dangerous to a church. There has to be already a culture of multiplication. This has to be something that's being championed and celebrated. It's a culture that's created where multiplication is just normal. We're going to multiply disciples. We're going to multiply small groups. We're going to multiply leaders. We're going to multiply campuses, services, churches. The gospel is always moving. It's not static, it's dynamic, it's news, it's meant to be shared, it's meant to be moved. And so I think developing a culture of multiplication is really important. Amen. So, you know, so the vision is so exciting, I think, and so easy to grab onto for so many people. But one of the objections that I have heard sometimes that I'm sure you've experienced as well. So we at Peace Church by God's grace, where Mitch and I pastor, we got to plant a campus that will become an independent church just a year ago. And so we saw this as well. Maybe you've heard this before, but people will say, well, man, that means I've got to say goodbye to some brothers and sisters in Christ because either they're leaving to go be part of this new church plant or I'm leaving to go be part of a new church plant. You know, you go from a church that's probably of a decent size, usually when you plant, you're a healthy size and now you're gonna go start this much smaller thing. How have you handled that as a pastor and church planner, helping people go through that, saying goodbye, realizing, man, there are some people that you're not gonna see every Sunday morning anymore. You know, there's some downsides, but obviously there's a much bigger upside. Yeah, totally. Yeah, there's a whole chapter in the book called Gospel Goodbyes for this very reason. You know, if you have a multiplication culture you immediately realize you learn very quickly that that means you're saying goodbye even if you have a small group of somebody in my small group multiplies our relationship is now changing to some degree and you know this is the paradox of the gospel at least one of many, and that's that this goodbye is both a grief, excuse the city noise behind me, but it's both a grief but also a celebration. We are sorrowful yet always rejoicing, the Apostle Paul said. And so we're celebrating because the gospel is going forward, we're multiplying, but we also acknowledge the grief. And that's just kind of one of the things you want to do is just acknowledge, yeah, this stinks, that our relationship's gonna change. This stinks, that you're not gonna go to this church, or you're not gonna be a part of this small group, or you're not gonna go overseas, and I'm gonna be missing my friend. And our relationship is going to change. You think of Paul in Acts 20, when he's leaving the Ephesian elders, and everyone is weeping. You think of the disciples when they finally realized what Jesus is saying, that he's going to go. And Jesus said, sorrow has filled your heart. So there's just an acknowledgement, I think, to the grief that would be healthy and mature and would make sense. All while we understand the joy of the celebration in the multiplication that's happening there. Yeah, yeah, totally. One of the language things we've tried to use is to try to talk about, you know, people are really tempted to say well our small group is splitting or our church is splitting. No, no, it's not a split. It's a multiplication, you know, different math term, right? It's multiplication not division. That's what's going on. Yeah, we started talking about actually our small groups don't even multiply, they just plant. We call them city groups. Just to, again, we want one of our strategies, you know, we have three strategies, preach the gospel, plant churches, and push back darkness. And we wanted people to see that they're actually a part of planting churches, even if they don't go to one of our church plants. Because, you know, it's that multiplication culture that breeds a new church. And so even if they never are a part of one of our church planting teams, or even the lead church planter, they're still a part of church planting. And so I do think language is important. Saying gospel goodbyes, would you say that that's maybe the hardest part of planting churches, or have you seen something else in your experience as a church planter that makes it difficult? Yeah, I think relationally, emotionally, that's the hardest part. No, I think, I mean, it's hard to say what is hard about it because we've just been so blessed by it and it's almost like breathing for us. It's just not something that we, you know, consider a loss at all. Sure. So the hardest part is just the work of, it's the work afterwards. I think the hardest part, I'm really good at starting things, I'm not great at the details, I'm not great at, I'm really good at starting things and handing them off. Plant Fort Worth, the network, the city network here that we started, that's run by Ben Connolly, he's world famous in doing, working for church planning organizations and running church planning residencies, that's something I would be terrible at. So I've got wonderful people that do a great job of all of that, but this is just, you know, it's once the church is off the ground, how do you continue to come alongside that church and it grows, it grows in all the ways in which it needs to grow and should grow. That's probably the hardest part for me personally is, you know, these are all my buddies, but it's a lot of them and it's a lot of work and I've got other work. Yeah. And just, you know, continuing to build that family and our family of churches and caring for these men and their teams and seeing them grow and flourish and get healthy and all of that is, that's a lot of the hard work. It's easy for us to raise up a guy, because that's something the Lord does anyways, and then send him out with, I mean, Caleb, our next church plan, he'll be headed out here in January, here in a couple of months. He's got right now 85 committed. And so that'll probably grow to about 100 or so by the time he gets to January. So that's really easy to just say, this is what we do guys and this is what we're about and so go. And they go. So that part, easy is maybe too strong of a word, but the harder part is how do we get these churches to continue to grow and get healthy? Yeah. Hey, this is Mitchell and I wanted to butt in and interrupt our amazing interview with Jim Essien to bring you an exclusive offer from our sponsors today, Moody Publishers. Outside of them giving us this deal, Moody Publishers has been a resource that I've always run to. They're an amazing group of people that publish great stuff. If you're looking to dive deeper into faith and grown wisdom, discover books that will inspire, challenge, and transform with Moody Publishers. From trusted authors to fresh voices, Moody offers resources that equip you for life's journey with Christ. And now we have an exclusive offer for you. That's a good question, listeners. An offer for you if you use promo code RESOUND40 to get 40% off with your next purchase. Whether you're searching for devotionals, study guides, or impactful reads, Moody Publishers has something for everyone. Don't miss out on this. Visit moodypublishers.com and use code RESOUND40 at checkout. Again, that's moodypublishers.com and use RESOUND40 at checkout. Enrich your faith today. And now let's jump back into our interview with Jim Essien. I wanna ask one more question about those gospel goodbyes. How have you seen that impact the sending church in a positive way? We've done this at so many different stages. It's really, it changes at the different stages of church size that we've been at. Our first church we planted, we were maybe 600, 700 people. And so, that kind of gospel goodbye, and we sent out 100 people with that one. Yeah. So that sort of gospel goodbye, you have a lot of relational ties. And of course we're planting just down the street. So it's not totally, you know, we're never gonna see them again, but it's definitely a thing where these were pastors that were planting that had deep impact in the lives of our people. And so it's not just the people that are going, it's the pastor that is going. They married some of our people, they've counseled them, they've prayed with them, they've cried with them, they've visited them in the hospital, and now in a lot of ways they think of him as maybe their pastor. And for whatever reason, maybe they're not going with him for some, you know, because typically it's geographic. There's a lot of... it can definitely have an effect on, we've had a few instances where it's, you know, that was the person that really pastored me and these other elders, I just don't really know. And so you have, you know, things like that, but all of that is just create shepherding moments. Yeah. Every moment is a shepherding moment is kind of one of the things that we say. And so there's, that's not a bad thing. That's just an opportunity. Yeah, totally. So another experience that we have here in West Michigan, I imagine you can relate to in Texas as well, is that you'll hear people say, well, man, why would you guys plant another church? There's so many churches. You know, there's churches on every street corner, people will say, around Grand Rapids, Michigan, where we're at. You know, why do you think, Jim, why do you think we need more churches in areas that do have lots of churches, and why do we need more churches? Yeah, interesting enough, typically those people, I don't know if you found this to be true, but typically those people are people that have been at a lot of the churches in the city. And so, you know, I would gently push back there and say it seems like you liked, you know, all of the options and you've enjoyed, you know, dropping your feet into different churches and seeing which one fits for you. Man, you know, there's so many ways, so many reasons why it's still right and good to do this that I could probably list off 10. One would just be, again, I would just keep going back to vision. The very nature of the gospel is that it multiplies. And so, in a healthy place, this should just be natural. It's just going to happen that the gospel continues to just move and do what it does. Two, unless, you know, unless, I mean, if a guy wants, if a guy on my team or if a guy comes to me and says, not going to give him my job. He's going to have to go to another church to have my job. And so why would we keep, you know, my, why is the lead pastor role or any role in the church off limits to anyone else? I mean, if God is raising up another great kids minister, if God is raising up another great worship pastor, if God is raising up another great lead pastor, why would we not want to multiply that as well. Three, church closings happen all the time. Four, population growth is happening in certain areas of the country. And so there's reasons for wanting to do that. Another great reason, I'd probably put this at the top as well, is just there's something about a new church that tends to attract new kinds of people, is a little bit stronger in evangelism, is going to just create another expression of the local church in a city that's going to be helpful to the church in that city. And one of the things I love about Plant Fort Worth is that we are a network of churches in one city, Fort Worth, and you look at like the guys on our lead team, for example, you've got Presbyterian Church and Pentecostal Church and Black Church, and you've got this sort of broad swath of the church in Fort Worth. And you talk about unity, like everybody wants unity in the church, that's how you get it. And I just think there's so many benefits to it. Nobody really wants their church to get bigger except for the lead pastor anyways. So it's not just, why are we wanting one church to carry the evangelical, I'm sorry, the evangelistic and discipleship load of a whole city. I just don't understand that strategy, that theology, or that philosophy. Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, and one of the things that we've heard is people saying, well, there's already churches in that place where you're going to plant. Why plant another one in that place? And there's a lot of different answers to that. One would be just that statistically, new church plants have a much higher ability to reach new people than existing longstanding churches do. That's just, we could talk about the reasons why, but the data just shows us that. That if somebody who's not currently part of a church is more likely to attend a brand new church plant than a longstanding church. That's just kind of how it is. From our experience at Church Plant, too, in the most recent plant that we did, we didn't see a ton of people leave other churches and come to that church. It was people who weren't part of a church, and they started coming. Or they were people from the sending church that went with to be part of that. I don't have any data on this. You get a lot of specialized mission as well. You know, there's, you know, I mean, so much of our DNA obviously goes with the sending churches or with the church plants, but they're, you know, I mean, Pillar Church is in a very unique part of Fort Worth and the ministry that Canaan can do there is gonna be much more specific and contextualized than what we could try to do as the mother church in center city Fort Worth. So our church plants end up in very specific, unique neighborhoods with defined geographic boundaries and they have their own different unique ministries that they can emphasize and put energy towards that maybe we wouldn't as just a large mega church in center city Fort Worth. Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, so we've got to talk a ton about church planting, so I think people listening are in different places. Some getting to be part of a church, part of a church plant, which is awesome. Some, maybe not, maybe asking the question, all right, so if I'm not part of a church that is planting or if I'm not part of a church plant, how can I still be part of God's mission, what he's doing in the church? So let me ask you this, Jim. How can the average Christian dream big for the glory of God and for the mission he might have for them? Yeah, that's my, I mean, the last chapter in the book is called Dream Big. And really it's just an opportunity for, again, so I'm going to go back to that question I brought up earlier. If I can get in on God's mission, then so can you. You know, anyone can. And, you know, there's a couple of things. One is just talking about finding your place. So part of the book is also, what is my role in all of this? How do I figure out what God would have for me? And there's local missions, and there's church planting, and there's global missions. And so Dream Big is just really about you sitting before the Lord and actually believing Ephesians 3 is true. That God is wanting to grow your heart in such a way that you would be able to comprehend with all of the saints the fullness of God's love for you and for the church. And that he would then do anything, right? Anything. He would do more than you could ask or imagine because he wants his glory known through the church. That's just Ephesians 3, 20 and 21. And so, the opportunity to sit down and actually pray and sit before the Lord and just say, God, I wanna dream big for how I might be a part of this huge thing that you're doing and to know that you've just promised that you would do more than that. You know, Jesus prays or tells us in what, John 15, John 16, maybe John 14, whatever you pray for, if you pray in my name, I will do. And we, you know, everybody's, you know, everybody's had that, every pastor's had that question asked them, how is it that I pray about things and God doesn't do them? Well, because what he's talking about there is praying according to his will and his word and his promises. And so there's a promise in Ephesians 3.20 that if we are praying that God's glory would be known through His church, He will give us more than we can ask or imagine. And so just dreaming big about your role in the mission of God. And for some of you, it's going to be underwriting. Great ministry and great mission. I've got great stories about over the course of history, the revivals of the church, and you have these great leaders that have been a huge part of these revivals and movements of the church. But there are unknown men and women, typically women, very often they're women, that are underwriting, that are paying for financing those movements of God. Some of you, that's going to be you, and you have no idea what that's going to be like, and it's going to be amazing that God would use you and your finances for his ministry and mission. For some of you it's going to be prayer. I've been saying this for years. I'm going to find out in heaven for sure that some probably single woman who has been so faithful to pray for our church for decades was actually the reason why God did all the things that God did in our church. And we're going to get to heaven. She's going to have a gigantic house. Mine's going to be this little tiny house and hers is going to be a huge mansion and, you know, she's going to have this bottle of prayers in one of her many, many garages and barns. And it's going to be the prayers that she had for the Paradox Church. And that's why I did all that stuff. And so just what does that look like for you to sit before the Lord and just dream big about what He might have you do, the role that you might play for the mission of God. Yeah, amen, that's awesome. Yeah, I've gotten to have that conversation with a few of our senior saints, even here, even in the church. They are so overjoyed that they get to be part of the church planting, not because they're going, but because they get to support it through prayers and through their faithful giving. Yeah, totally. All of us have a role to play. Total. Jim, as we're kind of wrapping up, I've really thoroughly enjoyed your book, Send. Could you tell us a little bit more? We've kind of been teasing around these questions around that book, but could you tell us a little bit more about that book or any other projects that maybe are on the horizon for you that we should look out for? Yeah, I love the book for, again, just it's written to the church member. And so it's meant to serve the church pastor, but it's written to the church member. I've told my pastor friends, we all want so much, we want more for our people. We want them to really be captured by the mission of God and to want more for the Christian life. And it's just hard for us to download and disciple, for me, 14 years of experience in ministry to everyone. So to be able to have a book that is meant to be written specifically to the church member and hopefully doing some of that, that's the way it's meant to serve your churches, your ministries. It's written to the church member. And then, two, I'm really excited about what I hope to be a next project about basically just written to men, a very specific ministry towards men. I started an email newsletter. It's called When a Man is Needed. And I've wanted so much to multiply my ministry here locally to our men, to more just super practical, super easy. But really, the younger generation, I'm 45 now, I just turned 45, the 20s and 30 year olds, men, I know them well, I have conversations with them all the time, and they just need very simple, practical help, and they're gonna go find it somewhere. And so I've just been really excited about doing that with them. And so I started that newsletter recently. It's sort of taken off, and I'm excited about what that's doing, and I hope to write a book about that soon. Yeah, if people are looking to find that newsletter or any other resources, is there a place that they can search to find that information? Yeah, they can just email me. The best way to do that right now would be email. But yeah, follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. I post links there about it all the time. Jim at theparadoxchurch.com . I can get them that information as well. Awesome, awesome. That's great. Well Jim, thanks so much for the conversation today. We're so thankful to get to talk and get to share with our listeners. Everybody, thanks so much for listening. Have an awesome week. You can always follow ReSound Media on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Subscribe, follow, like. Have a great week everybody. Bye!

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Angelic Proclamation; Our King is Born! Sermon Series: Fit for a King Ryan DB Kimmel Lead Pastor Peace Church Main Passage: Luke 2:8-15 Transcript Today is the day that the Lord has made. So let us rejoice and be glad in it. And everyone said with all your heart, amen, amen. So, one thing that is always monitored around the holiday time is holiday travel. For some reason, we like to monitor how much people are moving around during Christmas time. So here's the question I have for you. Where are you going for Christmas or for Christmas celebrations? Here's what I want you to do. Take a moment with the people around you, share where you are going for Christmas this year. Take a moment and do that. All right, so as you think about where you're going to go for Christmas, let's just hold on to that thought for a second. We'll come back to it. Today we are continuing our series called Fit for a King as we are looking at the reality that Jesus is not just Emmanuel, God with us, He's not just the Savior, but Jesus is the King of kings who has been born. And so His birth, while very humble in nature, it was still a truly royal event. And I think one of the most grand parts of Jesus' birth that really demonstrate and announce the fact that it was a royal event is with the angelic proclamation. When the angels come and announce that Jesus has been born. And that's what we're going to be looking at today. And here's what I'd say. For those who know the story, you know the humble means by which Jesus was born. I'm hoping that you can hear anew the angelic announcements because I think it's very timely with everything that's going on in our world. And so to look at this very familiar passage, I'm gonna ask you to turn in your Bibles to Luke 2. Luke 2, we'll look at verses 8 to 15. If you are newer to the faith or you don't know the context, let me just clarify for you. As we read this passage, here's what's going on. Jesus Christ had just been born. He had been born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph. It was a completely underwhelming event by human standards. He's born in a manger made for animals because as the Bible says there's no place for him in the inn. Bethlehem, while an extremely famous town nowadays, it was a small town and nearby, the Bible says that there were shepherds out tending to their flocks. It's a well-known story and so here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna pick up from this point. Jesus has been born and there's shepherds out in the field and that's where we're gonna pick up our story. So would you hear God's Word? Luke chapter 2, we'll read verses 8 to 15. Would you hear God's Word? Luke 2:8-15 8 And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. 10 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” 15 When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” This is God's word. Let's pray and we'll continue. Let's pray. Father in heaven above, Lord, today we remember, we give thanks that we celebrate the birth of your son, the incarnation of our God and Savior and the King of kings who rules and reigns. And we ask here and now by the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit that you would not only bless our time, but help us to know your truth, that we would receive it into our hearts and into our lives. And we ask these things in the name of the newborn King, in the name of Jesus. And everyone said, amen. So for those of us gathered here and online, as we are here on Christmas Eve, if I give you one thing to think about today and especially tomorrow as we celebrate the birth of Jesus it would be this here's our main point for today what the angels proclaim is what we all need to hear and so as we look at our passage today there's three things I want to draw up draw out from this angelic announcement and it'd be these three things. 1. The truth is found in a moment 2. The miracle is found in the mundane 3. The purpose is found in the message The purpose is found in the message. All right. So as we get going, let's just state the obvious here. I know many people would say that we live in a quote unquote heavily churched area. Many of us grew up knowing this story. Or even if you didn't grow up going to church, it's such a cultural celebration. Many of us just know the story of Christmas by osmosis to some extent. So here's what I'd say to you. If this passage is familiar to you, if you've heard this passage a thousand times, here's my challenge to you, especially if you call yourself a Christian. Do you live out this story as well as you know the story? Do you live out this story as well as you know the story? I recently heard someone say this about the American culture. They said that we are educated beyond our obedience. That we know all this stuff. We have all the Bible studies. We have all the resources at our fingertips. We know everything we can, but we don't actually live it out. We're educated beyond our obedience to God's word. And so again, here's my challenge to you. If you know this story, if you've heard it a thousand times, do you live it out as well as you know it? Are you filled with hope? True hope? Are you filled with hope every single time you hear this? Or are you just filled with nostalgia? Are you challenged by this story? Are you comforted by this story? Does this story inspire you to live more fully to God? You may know this story, but have you truly heard it? 1. The truth is found in a moment So first thing, Christmas proclaims what we all need to hear. The first one is this, the truth is found in the moment. Let's go back to our passage. What we say we know so well, let's look at verses 8, 9, and 10 again. Luke says this, it says, Luke 2:8-10 8 And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. 10 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. All right. Let me ask you you got to be honest. This is church. Got to be honest here when I read this passage How many of you thought of Charlie Brown? Let me see. Oh, most of you. Okay. All right. Okay. Yeah, you know Whether we think of the Christmas celebration when we read this passage, we're missing something so much. This is an entirely underrated passage. Remember what's going on here. These shepherds were among the lowest of the low, and yet they, they were the ones that God chose to reveal the birth announcement to. They were the first ones to get to hear about the birth of Jesus. These shepherds out in the field, the lowest of the low, the forgotten, and they're the ones who got to hear first the message of Jesus. They were not kings. They were not rulers. They were not social media influencers. They were not rock stars. They were working men. And add to that, they were working the night shift. Nothing but love for third shifters. I worked on third shift for two years of my life. My body’s not wired for it. Two years of my life, I never saw the sun. I just, I can't handle it. But I can tell you this about working the third shift. That crew of people that I got to work with, we were a ragtag group, and nobody was looking to quote us. We were the forgotten, but it was a fun group I worked with. And one thing I can tell you about working the third shift is that we understood that the boss was never going to show up in the middle of the night to say, well done everyone. Keep it up. Boss wasn't walking in at 2 am to give us an attaboy. If the boss showed up in the middle of the night, someone getting fired. No one showed up unless we did something wrong, but I can't imagine being those guys working out at night and God's angel showed up. I can't imagine working third shift and have an angel of the Lord show up to not just tell us news, but the greatest news the world had ever heard. Mary, the mother of Jesus, and I say this with all due respect, she was a nobody by the world's standards. See, in our day and age, where everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame, we live in a world where teenagers' dying wish is to go viral and get some attention. I'm telling you, this is not how God works. God is not impressed by this. He's not impressed by how many likes we get on social media. God's standards are not ours. He goes by his own. Some of you out here, you may feel forgotten, either by your families or by society. But I'm telling you now, it's the lowly, it's the forgotten, it's the mourning, it's the third shifters, it's the people without influence. Those are just the type of people that God reveals big things to. And he calls us to respond. This is how God works. He doesn't wait for the big grand events to reveal his plan. He does it in the moments we'd never expect. This eternal truth that God incarnate had been born, that eternal truth was found in the moments. God does things when we never expect, not just what we don't expect. Like telling a bunch of poor farm boys working the night shift the greatest news the world had ever known. Like a teenager who stands apart not because of her massive social media following. She stands apart because in her heart she is one thing, and that's faithful to God in her simple life. The truth is revealed in a moment, so don't be so preoccupied with the big things in life that we forget to see the way that God moves in the small things. The shepherds were just living life. They were just doing their thing, and that's when everything changed. The angel appeared to them and said, Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. See, Christmas proclaims what we need to hear. The truth is found in the moment, and also the miracle is found in the mundane. 2. The miracle is in the mundane Go to verse 11 and 12. Says this, Luke 2: 11-12 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” Christ has been born to you, unto you. He came for us. We celebrate the one who came to save us, to redeem us. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior who is Christ the Lord and this will be a sign for you you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger okay we know this story we know it and because we know it so well I think we've forgotten what we just read an angel shows up with the glory of God shining around them. These men are absolutely terrified. And what's the news? You're gonna find a baby. You're gonna find a baby just wrapped up in swaddling cloths. That's a big grand sign I came from heaven to share with you. What? Don't be so familiar with the story that you forget to know the story. What is going on here? You will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths. That phrase there, wrapped in swaddling cloths, is a very wordy phrase in English, but it's actually one word in the original language. You'll find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying, not in a crib, not in a hospital, not in his mother's arms. You'll find a baby wrapped and lying in a manger. So mundane, but yet a miracle. These guys were working outside in the night shift, mundane, but then a miracle happens. And just think about these guys. I mean, remember, this was a real thing that happened. These guys were just standing out in the field and I can imagine these guys doing what they do every single night. I can see them kind of just leaning on their staff, just talking to one another, just meaningless, mindless conversation like they've had day in and day out. And then something happens. A night where they normally would have just forgotten what happens. Everything, everything changed. A miracle happened in the middle of the mundane. It says, you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger. Our Savior was found wrapped in rags. Rags, mundane. The king of kings was not born in a bassinet made of gold in some palace. He was born in a barn, in a manger made for faint farm animals. Now that that word manger there, I found myself this past week as I was thinking about this passage, I found myself doing something that I wonder if you do as word manger I think crib I think the crib that Jesus was born at Chris born in at Christmas time but let me remind you that's not what a manger is a manger here here's here's the definition here a manger is a long open box or trough for horses or cattle to eat from see I found myself being so familiar with this story that when I heard manger, I think that's where Jesus was born. I thought crib. Like when you hear the word manger, you need to think farm animals and hay. That's what Jesus Christ, the Christ was born in. He was not born in a nursery. It doesn't explicitly say this, but Jesus was born in a barn or at least a first century Jewish version of that, whether it was like a cutout cave or just a small little enclosure, but it was a place where animals would eat. I'll tell you this, anyone who's, who spent time in a barn, you probably resonate with what I'm about to say. I grew up spending a lot of time in a barn. If you have to, then you know, something barns are pretty special, magical places. Do you know what I mean? Who's ever spent some real time in a barn? Right? You know those are special places for some reason or not. And one of my favorite lines about barns comes from a book called Charlotte's Web. I'm sure you've heard of it. Anyone read Charlotte's Web or seen the movie? I'm not sure if this line is in the movie, but it's in the book. And line. Here's what it says about barns. It says, It smelled of hay and manure. It smelled of the perspiration of tired horses and the wonderful sweet breath of patient cows. It often had a sort of peaceful smell, as though nothing bad could happen ever again in the world. If you ever spent time in a barn, you know what the writer is saying here. But here's what I'm going to tell you. Bad things still happen. But the greatest thing that could have happened did happen. And it happened in a barn. And it's the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. See, barns are awesome places, but cows are born in barns. Horses, sheep, goats are born in barns. People are not born in barns, but our Savior was. And this just reminds us of something incredibly special from the life of Christ, that miracles don't just happen on the mountaintops. Miracles can happen in the mundane. But unfortunately, we are the most distracted society of all time, and I don't think we ever look up from our phones long enough to see it. The angel shows up and he says this. He doesn't announce the birth of Savior to princesses or kings, not to presidents or popes, but rather God speaks to the working man. God does not speak to self-proclaimed boss babes or the guys in the corner office. He speaks to the lowly, and more than that, to the faithful. To the faithful who day in and day out rely on the patience of God as the priority of their life. That they may not understand why God does what he does, but they give themselves to him knowing that he is good. Because Christmas proclaims that miracles don't just happen on the mountaintops, they happen in the mundane. Do you have the eyes to see it or are you too busy scrolling? Look up from time to time and I promise you, you might just see a miracle. Because Christmas proclaims that miracles are found in the mundane. 3. The purpose is found in the message And lastly, Christmas proclaims to us, the angels proclaim what we need to hear, and it's the truth that the purpose is found in the message. So not only does the one angel show up, look what happens. Luke 2:13-15 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” 15 When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” Verse 13 says, And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly hosts. Okay, what's that? I'll tell you what that is. That's the angelic army. The king had been born, so God sent his entire angelic army, a multitude of them, a great number of them, to come and they were praising God. Now before I say and read what they said, remember, this is an enormous army of angels. But I'm willing to bet something here. If you know this story, I'm willing to bet something. In your mind, maybe not everyone, but I think many of us in our mind, when we think about those shepherds, we think about them doing this, looking up. I think for many of us, we just kind of like assume that the angels were in the sky. The Bible don't say that. In fact, the Bible goes at great lengths to clarify these were shepherds out in a field, in fields. I actually kind of think that they actually were on the ground, standing in a royal salute to the birth of the King. I imagine that field full of angels, the angelic army, standing, praising God and announcing this. And what did they come to announce? The birth of the Savior. And let me remind you, this is the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy. This is the birth of the King. This is God incarnate. How in the world do you announce that? What do you say to that? Like a thousand years worth of prophecy being fulfilled in one awesome, amazing moment. How do you announce that? Well, this is how you do it. God sends his army of angels and they say, glory to God in the highest. I don't think we fully understand the weight of that phrase. The glory of God is the weightiest thing there is. And we have the highest amount of that in the birth of Christ. Glory to God in the highest. This is what the angelic army announced. I can't even imagine what that must have sounded like. Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace among those with whom He is pleased. That's how you announce the birth of the Savior. See, in our world, at least in our culture, in our society, people are looking for meaning within themselves. We are the culture that says live your own truth. Which I just gotta say is pathetically hypocritical. For a culture to say live your own truth and then what do we do? We turn around and seek external validation from strangers online. We are an incredibly lost culture. If you would just take a step back and survey what we are saying and what we are doing. Live your own truth but make sure everyone online who you don't know validates that. Okay, let me tell you something about the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel of Jesus refutes both of that. The gospel does says, no, the truth and the message and your purpose is not found within you, it's found externally, but you don't seek validation from strangers. See, the gospel message, which begins at Christmas. Now listen, while our purpose is found in the gospel message, while the meaning of our life is found in the gospel message, the gospel message is not about us, it's about Jesus. It's the good news given to us. And the good news is about Jesus, who he is and what he's done for us, that he died in our place, paying the penalty for our sin, so that we wouldn't have to. This is the good news. But in the gospel, we find our purpose. And you know the gospel, I'm willing to bet many of you do. But when we look at our lives and the interactions of so many Christians, I want to ask them, and I know this is gonna sound judgmental, but I wanna ask them, do you really know the gospel? Do you have, like, I know you know it up here in your head, but do you know the gospel like in your hearts? Because our lives are a manifestation, our lives are a manifestation of what's in our hearts, not just what's in our head. And I want to ask Christians, has the gospel made the track from your brain of what you can recite to your heart of which you live out? Does it actually change the way you interact with scriptures? Does it change the way you interact with people? Do you know the gospel? Because here's the reality, the gospel starts with Christmas, that God so loved the world that he gave. That's the Christmas story right there. That's Christmas, that Jesus, the son of God, came from heaven, born a baby boy, God incarnate, or as the Bible says, Emmanuel, God with us. And so going back to the notion of God telling the shepherds first, they first got the message. Now, the Bible doesn't say this, but I have a guess as to why God chose to tell the shepherds first. And I think it's found in verse 15. Let's go to verse 15 together. So now, when the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ìLet us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us. Why did God tell this first to the shepherds? I think itís at least in part because He knew that they would actually respond to the message. They would hear the message and they would actually do something about it. See, the birth of Christ, Emmanuel, comes with the necessity of a response for those who have the ears to hear. And the shepherds show us what the response is. When we hear the Christmas message, what's our response? To go to Jesus. For wherever you are going for your Christmas celebrations, for those who have the ears to hear, for those who have the heart to respond, we go to the manger. We go to our Savior to adore Him, to cherish Him, to worship Him. Our purpose is to know Christ and through Him to know the love of God. You see, I think if the angels went to some royal court and told this to a bunch of officials or princesses or kings, I can imagine they would probably sit there on their high thrones and they would think, wow, this is wonderful news. How wonderful I must be that the angels would tell me. And then they wouldn't do anything with it. But the shepherds, they drop what they're doing and they went to Jesus. Okay, go back to verse 15. When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing had it happened. Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that had happened. Making no mention that they just were witness to the angelic army before them. You think they might have said, what just happened? But they said, let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that had happened because they knew what they just witnessed pointed to something even greater. And so here's my question for you. You are now hearing the Christmas message. Are you going to respond like a high and mighty affluent person who thinks you're special because you heard this message, but you're really not going to do anything with it? Or are you going to be like the shepherds who hear the Christmas message and you respond by going to Jesus? My prayer for you is that you understand the beauty of God's love for you in what happened on that Christmas morning. That God sent his son to come to save you. And he did that by living a full human life, perfectly faithful to God, perfectly loving to others. And by doing so, that made him the perfect sacrifice to die in your place for your sins so that you wouldn't have to, so that you could respond and know the love that God has for you, so that you could be brought back to God through the blood of Jesus. That's my prayer for you this Christmas is that you're not just exchanging gifts, but you are being reminded again of what Christmas is. It is your Savior coming for you unto you. So which one are you? The one that's too busy to respond or the one that's going to? The shepherds dropped everything to go to Christ in that moment. And so let me make it clear again, this is what the angels proclaim, that the King has been born and we all need to hear this, that Christ, our Emmanuel, has come for us. And again, Emmanuel means God with us, right? This is a two-way street here. God with us, so we respond by going to him so that we can be with him, so that we can be with God again. So that sin that separates us from God, that is removed in the Gospel. Our Emmanuel comes to be with us so that we can go to Him. So we started this service by asking, where you go for Christmas? The one place we need to go back to is back to Christ. We need to go back to the manger, back to the story, and remember again that the King who has come to save us has been born. And that's what we get to celebrate. So let me remind you what the angels proclaim is what we all need to hear. So go to Jesus. And one of the ways we do that is by responding in worship. So would you please stand as we prepare our hearts to worship. Amen. Would you please bow your heads and let's pray together. Father, we come before you on this Christmas Eve, and I just ask God, in Jesus' name, that here and now by the power and presence of the Spirit, Lord, that you'd give us the heart of those shepherds to respond, to go and see, that we might look upon the newborn King, the one who has been born unto us to save us, that this child would grow into the man who would die on the cross and then triumph over death, triumph over sin, and he would rise again. So Father, I pray that here and now, Lord, as we sing the words of this old Christmas hymn, Father, I pray, God, that we'd sing them anew, we'd sing them true. We pray these things in Jesus' powerful name. And everyone said, amen. And everyone said, amen. Church, let's worship together.

The Lie of "Live Your Truth" Sermon Series: Calling Out Cultural Lies Ryan DB Kimmel Lead Pastor Peace Church Main Passage: John 8:31-36 Transcript Today is the day that the Lord has made. So let us rejoice and be glad in it. And everyone said, amen. Amen. Well, if we haven't met yet, my name is Ryan Kimmel. I'm the lead pastor here at Peace. And my family, I'm married to Tiffany. We've got four kids. We have two boys and two girls. Our girls are our oldest and our youngest, and we have boys in the middle. And this past summer, my family and I, we did something for the first time. This past summer we went to family camp together. Now I should actually preface and say it was the first time we did family camp where I wasn't the speaker. We just got to go as a family and just hang out with each other. We went down to Camp Mishawanna. It was a great week of fellowshipping with other believers and worshipping the Lord and having a lot of fun together. The only thing was we decided to family camp during the hottest week of the entire stinking summer, to be honest with you. It was incredibly hot. Now we stayed in a cabin that had kind of air conditioning, but we don't go camping to stay in a cabin, right? We go camping to hang out and do camping stuff. And if there's one thing I'm gonna do when I'm camping, no matter what, is I'm sitting around a bonfire, because that's what you do when you go camping. Except it was like 95 degrees. And so I still sat around the campfire ring without a campfire, enjoying the heat, and our campsite had zippity-doo-dah for shade. The sun was just beating down on us, and I'm sitting there, absolutely miserable, but telling my kids I'm having a wonderful time, I'm sitting there sweating around a campfire without a fire and I'm seriously questioning my life choices at this moment. And so I am sitting there trying to enjoy what I could, sun beating down on me, and I look over to the picnic table and I notice that my youngest daughter's little princess princess umbrella is sitting right there. And because I have no shame, and because my identity is in Jesus Christ, because I was hot, I grabbed that umbrella and opened it up, sat there, my feet upon the fire ring, and joined my week at family camp. Because I'm secure in my manhood, as you can tell here. And I look up and I'm like, no surprise there, Elsa and Anna, yep, you guys know who Elsa and Anna are, you know, from Frozen? If you said no, you just became my hero. Elsa and Anna from the Disney princess movie Frozen. And I'm sitting here with a little shade, a 95 degree summer day, and I look up and I notice that there is something written on this umbrella, and it's written all over this umbrella. Joel, can you tell me what that says? Live your truth. Live your truth. And I looked at that and I said, live your truth, live your truth, live your truth, live your truth. And I realized we can't escape the cultural lies. Live your truth is a cultural lie and we're gonna explain why. Here's the reality, I think for many of us, we think live your truth, especially when you put it on a Disney princess umbrella, it seems so sweet, right? But here's the reality. It seems so innocent, but it's not. It seems innocent because we think that it means you be you and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We think it means fight the system and pave your own way. And to our American ears, that just sounds so inspiring, doesn't it? But this little statement, live your truth, which is accepted by so many. It's extremely, extremely misleading. It's founded upon lies and falsehoods that keep us in a worldview that we think is empowering, but I'm going to argue today is actually extremely detrimental to ourselves and to our culture. Because here's the lie that's actually underneath this little pithy statement. The lie that's underneath it is, is truth is what you make it and make truth fit for you. Live your truth is the meme version of truth is relative. Live your truth sounds heroic. It sounds inspiring. It even sounds freeing to people who want to throw off the shackles of old traditions, right? It feels freeing, but I'm telling you right now, it's the opposite. It keeps us from freedom. It keeps us from true freedom, and the culture is buying it, and we're giving it to little girls. And it's time it's called out. And that's what this series is all about, calling out cultural lies that so many in our society have bought into. But I want to underscore something real quick. I really want you to hear me on this, because we're gonna hit it hard in this sermon series. But I want you to know that everything we do in this sermon series is done in love. This is a sermon series that's birthed out of love. See, Jesus calls us and commands us to love people, and as Christians we do. I love people. I may not always agree with them, I may not always like them, but I love them. I love people. And I don't know about you, but I hate it when people who I love are lied to. And people I love, the people in this world, they're being lied to. And so you may hear some righteous anger come out during this sermon series, but I'm telling you, it comes from a place of love that wants to protect people from lies so that they can know the truth. And to tell someone to live your truth is telling them to do something that's based in a lie. Truth, my friends, truth is not yours to define. It's actually better than that. It's to be discovered. Truth is not fabricated inside our mind. It's found outside of ourselves. Author Elisa Childers says that live your truth is the mantra of the day. And it's because this is the lie that supports and validates all the other lies that we believe. It's very symbolic that I found live your truth on an umbrella as it covers, because that's what this lie does. It covers all the other lies and validates them. And so, I'm going to encourage you, if you have your Bibles, as we look at the lie of live your truth, would you turn to John chapter 8, the gospel of John chapter 8. As you're turning there, here's what we need to understand, that if truth is ours to define, then we can believe whatever we want. But we know this isn't the case, deep down we know this isn't right, but we hear it all the more. Especially with the election coming on right now, you know that the internet is flooded with debates going on right now. And I was listening to this one debate happening between these two groups of people, and this one woman said to this other woman, in the midst of a debate, this one woman said to this other woman, she said, your truth may not be their truth. And I sat there thinking to myself, what? How are we supposed to discern right and wrong if people respond with your truth may not be their truth. How are we supposed to ever have any sort of social cohesion when everyone is just running in their own directions with their own truth? And so this series is about calling out the lies that our culture has bought into so that we can know the truth and by the truth, as Jesus so famously said, we could know the truth and the truth will set us free. That line is quoted all the time. The truth will set you free, the truth will set you free. It's even quoted in Marvel movies. But what we do is we ripped it out of context to make it mean what we want. What we're gonna do here this morning is we're gonna put it back in context from the one who actually said it to see what he actually meant. So John chapter 8, we find Jesus in the temple. He's debating and he's discussing and he's teaching. And there's his followers there and there's religious leaders there. And the religious leaders begin to challenge Jesus and what he's saying. They're challenging what he's saying and they're challenging his identity, his claims of who he actually is. And when they start turning up the heat on Jesus, do you know what Jesus does? Do you know what Jesus does? Do you think he backs down? No, because Jesus never backs down. This is why I love to follow this King Jesus, because he never backs down. In fact, when the heat gets turned up, you know what he does? He doubles down. That's how amazing Christ is. And so they start challenging him, and rather than backing down, Christ presses in even harder. And so that's what we're going to pick up in our story. John chapter eight, would you hear the word of the Lord? John 8:31-36 31 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” 33 They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?” 34 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave[a] to sin. 35 The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. How is it that you say we will become free? And Jesus answered them, "'Truly, truly, I say to you, "'everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. "'The slave does not remain in the house forever, "'the son remains forever. "'So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed. Amen. This is God's word. Let's take a moment. Let's pray and then we'll continue together. Let's pray. Father, we come before you, Lord, and we want to lay claims to the promises and to the teachings of Jesus here that we'll know the truth and by it we'll be set free. So Holy Spirit, we ask that you'd be with us here and now. Open our hearts and minds and ears as we open up your word. Help us to know the truth so that we will be equipped to know when we are lied to and also so that we will be set free for it's in Jesus' powerful name we pray these things and everyone said amen. All right, so I mean at first glance when you start reading this passage here there's some things that immediately jump out that fly right in the face of this mantra of live your truth. One thing that is so clear is that live your truth is not compatible with following Jesus. Jesus, he's so kind to us. Jesus does not place the burden of truth into our hands to discern ourselves. See, he does not put it into our hands for us to make up on our own. The notion of coming up with,the notion of inventing truth, that's too weighty of a thing for us. To tell someone to live their truth is an incredible burden that you place upon people. No, no, no, Jesus doesn't do that. He doesn't put it in our hands. He keeps it in his own hands. He's saying you don't get your own truth. Jesus is saying I will reveal it to you. But here's the reality. We, you and me, you and me and the person next to you, we like live your truth. We like that short, witty, pithy statement. Why? Because we're simple people and we like simple statements, whether they are true or not. This is why so many people's political opinions are formed by memes rather than by reading actual policy. See, we are prone to believe short statements that inspire us rather than the detailed ones that actually make us think. And so the challenge here, the challenge for us this morning, you got to follow me on this. The challenge is this. See, the culture says, live your truth and we eat it up. But if we, the truth bringers, if we want to counter that argument, then it's most tactful if our counter argument is as short and catchy as the lie is. But that's really hard to do. But the beautiful thing is, I think Christ has already done it for us. I think Christ delivers here. The culture says, live your truth, but Jesus responds with this epic and eternal line, no, no, no. The truth will set you free. So we're going to look at our passage to see exactly what Christ means as we look at all this. So our main point here this morning as we think about this, we think about this lie, this lie of live your truth that we said is the lie that validates all the other lies. Here's our main idea here this morning, that truth is not fabricated, truth is found. As we look at our passes, we're going to pick up three things here this morning. Truth is found in the teachings of Jesus, that we'll look at verses 31 to 32. The next thing we'll look at is truth is found in the righteousness of Jesus Christ, that's verses 33 and 34, and then we'll close it up with verses 35 and 36 by looking at how the truth is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. So let's get into it. Truth is not fabricated, it's found. And the first thing we're going to see is that truth is found in the teachings of Jesus Christ. So back to our Bibles. John chapter 8 verse 31. Keep your Bibles open, please. So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, if you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. Okay, now listen, I know that when you come to church, it is much easier just to sit and listen and even doodle on your phone. But I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to think of an answer. I'm going to ask you to share it with the person next to you. And this is for Christians and non-Christians alike. I'm going to give you a question. I'll give you a very brief moment to think, and then I want you to share your short answer with the person next to you. So here's the question. What is a defining characteristic of a true Christian? Think about it. Share your answer with the neighbor next to you. Okay, now I'm hearing a lot of talking going on because my assumption here, and I think I was just proving, was that everyone has an answer for that. Whether or not you're a Christian, everyone has an answer for what you think a Christian should be like. And so, you know, I went to the place that answers every question. I asked Google, Google, what is the defining mark of a true Christian? And here's what the great prophet said. According to the Bible, a true Christian is someone who has received Jesus as their Savior, who trusts in Jesus' death and resurrection for forgiveness, has the Holy Spirit living within them, and lives their life in a way that reflects their faith in Jesus, one who is not ashamed to say that Jesus is Lord, and has a genuine love that rejects evil and seeks peace, and grace to others. Score one for Google. Now, hold on a second here. Before you go and make Google your pastor, let me just say one thing. I wonder, I wonder what you said. Because here's the truth. When you search the Bible, and certainly the New Testament, there are clear defining markers that are said in black and white about what it means to follow Jesus. Pick up your cross and follow Him, and these sorts of things. But while we definitely could pick things together and search Scriptures and point to verses, I wonder what Jesus actually said about it. I mean, the red letters, what does it mean from Jesus' point of view to be a true believer in him? Because if you noticed, he says it in our verse. Jesus tells us what it really means to follow him. He said, if you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples. You are truly my disciples if you abide in his word. If you abide in the word of Christ, meaning if you keep his teaching, if you remain in his teaching, if you stay and stay connected to his teaching, because Christ teaches us truth and what truth is. And so, as we think about this, and we think about what Jesus said, it's not just how you live. It's not just that you believe in the life and death and resurrection of Christ, although those are absolutely mission critical. To be a true Christian, a defining marker of what it means to follow Jesus is that you abide in His word. His word, not your word. His truth, not your truth. I'm sure you notice this, but when Jesus begins this, there's a sequence of things that He says that compound on one another. That's very important. We got to follow what He says here. He says, if you abide in His word, you are truly His disciples. And then if you are truly His disciples, you will know the truth. And if you know the truth, then you are set free. Why? Because the truth is not found within ourselves. It's not fabricated based on how we want to live. Truth is found in the word, in the teachings of Jesus Christ. And a true follower follows his teaching. And what does Jesus say? That this person walks in freedom. But this begs the question, freedom from what? Freedom from what, Jesus? That's a great question. And the people who are standing there, listening to Jesus as he was saying this, they asked the exact same thing. Look what they say. Verse 33, they answered him. We are offspring of Abraham. Again, this means they're of Jewish descent. We are offspring of Abraham. We've never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say we will become free? And Jesus answered them. Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. So what does the truth set us free from? From sin. When you hear people quote that, that the truth will set you free, now you know the answer to that. Free from what? Free from sin. So if your truth doesn't bring you to a freedom from sin, if the truth that you listen to doesn't bring you to a freedom from sin, it's not truth. Because truth brings us freedom from sin. Truth is not found within ourselves, it's not found within our grand personal vision for life, it's not found in anything the world has to offer. It's found in what Christ teaches and how he teaches us to live. Because truth is found in the righteousness of Jesus Christ. So here, here's where it starts to get really thick. Live your truth is a mantra. Now follow me. Live your truth is a mantra for those who want to live their life any way they please. Live your truth is the great rebuttal for a prideful people who don't ever want to be told that they are wrong in their beliefs. Now right there when I said that, I'm willing to bet there are a number of people who can hear my voice. You just, you kind of had an emotional reaction to that. Something just came up within your gut. It was like, wait a second, no, we can't tell people that what they believe is wrong. Let me tell you something, my friend. That's not moral goodness speaking out of you. That's cultural conditioning. You've been culturally conditioned to think you can never tell someone they are wrong in their beliefs. And I know you know it. I got no problem telling any Nazi I meet that what they believe is wrong. We can tell people they are wrong in their beliefs if they are wrong. Now, listen, of course, we need to, as Christians, do this with the utmost charity and love and wisdom and strength and kindness, of course. But if your knee-jerk reaction is, oh, wait, I just can't, oh, no, we can't tell people they're wrong, my friend, you are culturally conditioned. And let the truth bring you to a freedom, a freedom from this. And so, for some of us, that was like a whisper into our hearts. And if you heard that whisper that you can't tell people they're wrong, I'm telling you, that is the spirit of the live your truth mantra whispering to you. But some of you, you don't need that spirit to whisper to you because you openly embrace it and promote it yourself. Live your truth is a guiding principle, not just for those who don't want to hear they're wrong, but it's for those who actually want to live apart from God. But life apart from God is sin, and sin is slavery. Like, shouldn't we, as people, be trying to save people from slavery? Like, isn't that a morally good thing to do, to snatch people out of slavery and save them from that? There's no way for us to do that without some point expressing to them what you believe is wrong, what you believe actually keeps you in sin, and it keeps you enslaved. And I know that's not a culturally popular thing to do, but as Christians, we have to bring the light, and the darkness will recoil from it. But we have to bring the truth, we have to bring it. If we wanna save people from slavery, we need to bring them the truth of Christ, because the truth of Christ is the only thing that'll free us from this. Sin is slavery, but righteousness, righteousness is freedom. See, sin is brokenness, but righteousness is when things are made right, unbroken. And the irony, oh my friends, the palatable irony in all of this is that live your truth, that mantra, that mantra is the straightest path away from truth. And it moves us towards a worldview that is full of lies and dangerous and destructive. So what I want to do for just a moment is I want to take the live your truth and I want to show you how it doesn't even hold up against its own weight, let alone the truth of Scripture. Let's take just a few moments and explain why this lie is so destructive. So firstly, the lie of live your truth, it may excite us, but it keeps us separated. If we are all just living our own truth, then we're not coming under one unifying truth that can bring us all together. And again, I get, I get the whole to each his own mentality, but I happen to think a culture and a people are stronger when we are united. For it was Jesus who said a house divided against itself cannot stand. And as I think about what's going on in this world, I just have to tell you, I think the live your truth, that lie, it sounds like just the type of lie a devil would want a people to believe to keep them running away from each other. Second thing, the lie of live your truth may motivate us, but it keeps us immature. Here's what I mean. We can't grow if we're never told that we're wrong. We cannot grow if we never face opposition or never actually have to defend our own beliefs. And let me just call out my brothers and sisters in Christ here. This is why you need to be sharing your faith, because you're going to come up against some opposition that actually will help you grow in your faith. As people come to you with questions that you may not know how to answer, and you've got to go and find out. But, the live your truth is a lie that keeps us immature. Now, there's so many videos of this on right now, especially right now with our political climate. I know you've seen them, these street side debates, where you've got these two groups debating and you've got one group, one group is presented with reason and logic and facts and all the other group can do is scream. I know you've seen those videos. Do you know what that is? That is a product of the live your life mantra. The product of the live your life mantra is immaturity. Because it's immature to sit there and scream in the face of a healthy debate. Next thing I'll say is this, is that the lie of live your truth may inspire us, but it keeps us lost. Now, let's say you decide to go on vacation to a major city. I don't know why on God's green earth you'd want to do that, but let's just say you go to a major city for a weekend away, and you decide to go out for a stroll and see the city lights. You go out and you start walking around and you realize at one point you're lost. You know you can't just make up your own way back to the hotel. If you try to do that, you'll stay lost and get more lost. Live your truth is just as helpful as make your own path. It sounds inspirational, but it will just keep you lost. Next thing is this is the lie of live. Your truth may influence us, but it keeps us in sin. And that's Jesus whole point here. You do things your own way. You keep following your own path. You keep living your own truth, then you will not know the real truth and you will not be set free. You'll be kept in sin. Live Your Truth is so influential, we even put it on princess umbrellas. It influences us, all right. It influences us to stay in our sin, in our brokenness. And lastly, the lie of Live Your Truth may embolden us, but it keeps us rather than frees us. Live your truth may speak those sweet nothings to your pride, but you will not be led to where you truly want to go. Living your truth is not freedom from family, religious, or cultural expectations. Live your truth is a lie that keeps you from the freedom that your heart truly needs, freedom from sin, because sin is brokenness, but following Jesus sets us right, because that's righteousness. Now, please, my friends, please don't hear righteousness and think of stuffy religious people. Righteousness simply is about living the right way, the way that we were designed to. We are creations made by a Creator who has designed us to live. That's righteousness. Again, simply put, righteousness is about living right according to His design. And I know, I know that flies right in the face of the live your truth, the live your truth mantra. That flies right in the face of that, but all I can say to you is exactly. Amen, brother. Following Jesus leads us to truth, and truth sets us free from sin. Freedom from what? Freedom from sin. And that's called righteousness. Church, but as we think about closing up here, please, you cannot miss the foundation of this. This is the most important thing that everyone misses who loves to quote the truth will set you free. The foundation here is Jesus himself. Jesus said, if you abide in my word, if you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples. Jesus Christ is the fundamental principle of truth that is revealed to this world. Jesus made a bold claim in John 14 when he said, I am the truth. He said, I am the alatheia, the truth. Jesus is the wisdom and the truth that has come into this world. And listen to me, think about it. Just think about it for a moment. What better way for God to make wisdom and truth knowable than through a person, through the person of his son, Jesus Christ, who calls us to abide, abide in his word. Do you know abide is a connection word? It's a relational word. We're meant to have relationship with the one who is himself truth. And this leads to the last part of what Jesus said about how truth sets us free, and it's the gospel. If you don't know what the gospel is, please, please hear me, because truth is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. And what Jesus says here in verses 35 and 36 helps us to know what the gospel is all about. So when Jesus is talking about those who are enslaved to sin, he paints this picture of a household. And let me ask you, here's how I want you to think about it. What is a household other than a series of relationships? Jesus says in verse 35, the slave does not remain in the house forever, the son remains forever. But then he kind of takes a weird turn in verse 36, and almost seems like he's going in a different direction. But you're going to see here in a minute, he ties it all together. So verse 35, he says, The slave does not remain in the house forever, the son remains forever. Verse 36, So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed. So what's going on here? So Jesus is using this to point to heaven, to God's house and God's household. He's saying on earth, a slave isn't truly part of the family, but a son is. Now listen to me, the son has the rights and the authority of the home, but a slave does not. The slave doesn't have the right to set himself free, but the son does. The son can set the slave free. But we, the Live Your Truth people, we are enslaved to sin, and we have neither the power nor the authority to free ourselves. We need the master of our existence or his son to set us free. And God has sent his son to do just that. To give you freedom not to live out your own desires, but something even better. To live out how you were designed. We've talked about this before. When you follow your desires over God's design, you're choosing something lesser. The better thing is to follow God's design. When you choose your own desires over the way that God has designed us, my friends, you are choosing a lesser version of yourself, and God wants more for you than that. We have to follow His design, the way we're meant to be. Life that's free. Let me end with this question. How do we know that Jesus is the one who can do this? How do we know that Jesus is worth putting our trust into? How do we know that Jesus can make good on his claims? How do we know that Jesus is this Son who can set us free? Christians, you know the answer. You should know the answer to this. What is the key point of validation that Jesus is the truth? What is the thing that validates the claims of Christ? I'm telling you, it's not found in rock-solid logic. It's not found in social acceptance. It's not found in majority opinion. The thing that validates the claims of Christ is found in a historical moment. Something that actually happened, a concretely real moment that actually occurred in a real day in history. The thing that validates the identity and the claims of Jesus Christ is the resurrection of Jesus Christ. That is the thing that is the authentication of the true identity of Jesus. The resurrection proves that Jesus Christ truly is the Son of God, that He truly is God incarnate, that His death on the cross really was a sacrifice that atones for our iniquities, and that His words truly do bring freedom from sin. And this is the gospel, and this is where truth is found, that Jesus Christ died for our sins, and on the third day He rose again. That is the actual, objective, factual, historical, and eternal truth. It is such a profound truth, you can hang your entire eternity upon it. And because of this, I'm going to ask you to let go of the lie of live your truth, and place your faith in the Son. The one who the Son sets free is free indeed, because the truth sets us free. Amen? Amen. Amen. Would you please stand?